


Timeless

by HeroofProcrastination



Category: Natsume Yuujinchou | Natsume's Book of Friends
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Character Analysis, Comfort, Fluff, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, One Shot, One Shot Collection, Panic Attacks, Soulmate-Identifying Timers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-23
Updated: 2019-10-03
Packaged: 2019-11-04 07:03:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 39,693
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17893781
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HeroofProcrastination/pseuds/HeroofProcrastination
Summary: Natsume never thought his timer would amount to anything other than his own death...and yet the Fujiwaras gave him more hope than he could ever ask for.





	1. Chapter 1

Natsume couldn't remember when his timer first appeared. It just had always been there, and always something he was afraid of. At first he had thought it was one of those things only he saw. But while the other sights he saw were terrifying, his light from the clock on his arm was somewhat comforting. It was the only comfort he had when he was bumped from house to house. It was a cool light, a light blue, and every second it counted down. He liked that timer, always constant, always ticking, it was the only thing in his life that stayed, well...until the other kids told him it counted down to his death.  
  
After that day his light blue timer seemed like a chain, holding him down, reminding him that he wasn't long for this world. It seemed fitting, if he was close to death then maybe that was a reason he could see those creatures that had haunted him for ages. It had been a nightmare for ages. When that demon had told him they would take him away as their pet, and he had decided to fight them off. When he flew off that cliff. He thought it was over...  
  
He remembered that bright blue light coming off his timer as he fell, how it still read numerous days. He wouldn't die yet.  
  
  
  
When the Fujiwaras showed up at the side of his bed when he woke up he couldn't help but ask them the one question that had been sitting inside his lungs for days now. He wanted to be happy and the Fujiwaras seemed so warm. He knew his timer didn't have a year on it, he had very little time, and his last few months...he wanted them to be just as warm as the Fujiwaras were. And when he cried for the first time in years, feeling all the exhaustion and sadness pile up inside his throat, choking it all out he couldn't help but feel so much better when both Touko and Shigeru hugged him tight. It had been years since the last time Natsume felt warmth, the only memory he could remember close enough to that fluffy warmth that sat in his stomach was fragmented and blurred. But still prominent in his mind, that memory of his father's hand on his head.    
  
After the hospital was moving in. It was never hard to move, Natsume only had one box, and even then that box wasn't over filled or even full. It had some clothes and objects, but all were unimportant compared to the nature book that held the only picture of his mother and father. Although it was dusty, Natsume hadn't opened or touched that book in years.  
  
  
  
Shigeru was the one that lead Natsume through the house and showed him to the room up the stairs. He had a soft smile, and Natsume had been nervous-he hadn't gotten to meet Shigeru as much compared to Touko-Shigeru still held a warmth that Natsume hadn't seen on any of his previous foster parents. It almost made him uncomfortable how content and happy the Fujiwaras seemed, Natsume had never seen that with in of his previous homes. Or at least not directed towards him.  
  
When Natsume put his one box down on the corner of the floor he realized how big this room was. He didn't have nearly enough to fill this room, he felt almost undeserving of it, and Shigeru smiled at him and started talking about how excited him and Touko were that he had decided to come it made his ears burn even stronger.  
  
When Shigeru had asked,"When will the rest of your possessions arrive? Will we have to go pick it up?" Natsume was almost too embarrassed to say this was all he had. Almost was the key word. When Natsume explained he didn't look up, he didn't catch the concern and somber face slip onto his new foster father's face. Shigeru nodded and smiled, offered to help unpack, but Natsume shook his head. Unpacking seemed....pointless. He only had a couple months left, and even then...unpacking was never something he did, he was never at one place long enough to really warrant unpacking.  
  
Shigeru was nice enough and when he patted Natsume's shoulder and he barely contained the flinch back, he pretended to not notice. That alone was a kindness Natsume was not used to. Maybe this place would be just as warm and soft and happy as Natsume dreamed.  
  
Although Natsume was easily more relieved when Touko finally showed up with the groceries, announcing her arrival. She was so sweet and soft sounding and when she noticed Natsume her smile seemed to get even bigger than Natsume had ever seen. Shigeru was kind enough to slip past Natsume without touching him and walking fast enough to help Touko carry the rest of the ingredients.  
  
"I'm sorry Takashi! I didn't know what was your favorite meal was, so I just got everything I could think of!" Her laugh made Natsume's heart ache in a way he didn't know how to handle, and it took everything he had to not place his hand over his chest. He nodded softly so minuscule that Touko would have missed it if she hadn't really been looking. He opened his mouth to speak but he felt like he was trapped, his voice like a weight in his lungs, he didn't have the strength to bring it out.  
  
These people were so nice, he knew it wouldn't last.  
  
Shigeru had already taken all the bags away from Touko yet she stay in the walkway staring up at Natsume on the stairs. Her smile was less big and more soft and tender. The way she looked at Natsume made it feel as if she could see everything he was feeling, even the small bit of warmth in the back of his eyes that could easily spill into tears if he closed his eyes.  
  
"Would you like to come sit in the kitchen with me" she offered, the noise of Shigeru setting all the bags on the table for Touko was the only thing keeping Natsume from notice how loud his heart was in his chest. But he nodded anyways and slowly stepped forward not looking at Touko and seeing her saddened eyes, but by the time he looked back up at her she had already shifted to a much brighter smile. She walked into the kitchen and was back to her more frantic style of moving, rushing about to grab ingredients and starting on a meal. Shigeru quickly stepped back and had that warm smile on again and slowly sat down at the table to stay out of the way of Touko's cooking.  
  
It was then when he noticed the timer on Touko's arms as she rolled up her sleeves. The timer was blue just like Natsume's but it was at 00:00:00.  
  
Natsume could feel the instant rush of cold as he looked at her timer. It said zeroes. Natsume's eyes widened and he stared at her timer.  
  
"Fuj-fujiwara-san?" He asked softly and Touko hummed softly and Shigeru looked up from his newspaper, when he had gotten that was unknown. Natsume didn't know how to say what he wanted to ask. Touko stopped cooking for a bit and looked back at him, that ever present smile there.  
  
"Yes Takashi?" She asked softly.  
  
"Y-your timer...it's at zero?" He asked softly. Touko looks down at her arm with a bright smile and blush dusting across her cheeks.  
  
"Oh yes! Shigeru here is my soulmate!" She laughs, she moves her finger across her timer and the place where she touched lit up red and faded away to purple and back to that blue, as her fingers made a ripple in her time. The color replicated itself on Shigeru's skin, his smile just as sweet as hers. But soulmate...that...couldn't be right. The timer counted to...death? He had heard of soulmates a couple times. He knew some classes were teaching about them but he had never stayed long enough to actually know what they were talking about. 

Natsume couldn't help the soft fluttering in his chest as he thought about that...while he didn't really know what the timer meant...he did know what soulmate meant. He had heard whispers and the talk, he knew soulmates were meant to be the one person that you could always rely on, someone you were tied to for all your life, to love and protect, and to have the other do the same too. And well....Natsume never really thought he would have one...it never seemed like it was a possibility, everyone started hating him...eventually. 

 

"I thought..." Natsume whispered halfheartedly and pulled up his own sleeve to look at his own timer. He barely noticed Touka leaning over to glance at his arm, not until she let out a surprised joyful gasp, bringing her hand up to cover her mouth.

 

"Ooooh! Takashi!" she uttered out with such extreme joy that Natsume jumped away with the loud noise. Flinching back; which while both Fujiwaras saw, neither gave way they noticed. 

 

"Look Shigeru! Natsume only has a couple days left! Ooooh" Touko cooed with the revelation and Shigeru also looked surprised, his eyes widening with restrained excitement, most likely not to overwhelm Natsume. 

 

 Touko began to flutter around and grabbed a small clock on the counter, already twisting the hands back and smiling so happily at Shigeru, the blush that had once dusted in embarrassment, now dancing along her cheeks with flushed happiness. Natsume wasn't surprised by Touko's reaction but the fact Shigeru was also twisting the wrist watch to mark down the days till Natsume's timer went off seemed almost beyond belief. Touko looked so joyous with the discovery Natsume was due to meet his soulmate, that he couldn't help but let the feeling bleed in his own heart...maybe...maybe it was enough to hope. 

 

When the next morning came and Natsume found himself meeting Madara-san and asking to keep him, the Fujiwaras had smiled so warmly at Natsume he couldn't help but let the ice in his heart melt even further than it ever had before. No other family had ever smiled so softly at Natsume before, especially when he asked something of them; with the addition of Nyanko sensei, Natsume's days became...more eventful...

 

It was as if a flip was switched, Natsume found himself making friends..two boys to be exact, Nishimura and Kitamoto were unbelievably kind to Natsume, and ignored all his oddities. Even those who weren't considered friends were surprisingly kind, the classmates noting Natsume's strangeness and taking it in stride with soft smiles. 

 

Natsume had no idea what he had done to deserve such kindness from these strangers. It was enough to make his eyes tear up when he thought to much about it. So Natsume didn't...it was as simple as that, but when he returned ho-back to the Fujiwaras, and their excitement with their watches, he couldn't help but let a few tears slip on his eyelashes. Nyanko Sensei never commented on his light tears in his elbow at night, only huffing and curling up on his pillow. But it was enough for Natsume, it was more than enough...all this love..it was more than Natsume could handle. 

 

But then the day came when there was no longer a day on his timer...such a momentous day...and it all felt the same. The day wasn't unique, it actually was hot, and the cicada bugs buzzed in the air. 

It was such a normal day, there wasn't any incidents in the class, and while Natsume was sleepy it wasn't the usual drowsiness that came with dealing with youkai all night. It was...an uneventful day, the only moment being unique was when the dog's circle started to right a thank you in the courtyard with rocks. But then Natsume saw him, with shaggy black hair staring out at the rocks. Natsume couldn't see his face but something about his posture just read he was trying to see something. So Natsume found himself sliding next to the boy, although he could not fathom why. Something about him just screamed at Natsume, the Tanuma Priest's words ringing in his head about his son, who was sensitive to spirits.

 

Natsume didn't know why he spoke up exactly nor why he asked if the boy could see the creatures outside underneath the tree making a ruckus. But by the time Tanuma's dark grey eyes slid over to his it didn't matter anymore. 

 

Tanuma's face was pale and his eyes wide by the question but the minute their eyes met they didn't even notice the soft ding of their timers going off at the same time. Natsume swore the reason his face was heating up was due to the sun beating on it, not the growing realization on the other boy's face. 

Then the beeping of the timer cut out and the ringing silence was what made both of them look down at their wrists, each reading 00:00:00. Natsume slowly dragged his eyes up from his wrist to look over at the raven haired boy, and like a mirror he did the same. His cheeks became bright pink as he quickly dropped his head in a deep bow, if Natsume wasn't so frozen he would have spluttered out. 

 

"I'm Tanuma Kaname!" The words were more screamed out than anything, and Natsume couldn't help the heat that also rose up his face and wanted to make him hide, when had his heart started beating this badly. 

 

Natsume bowed slightly back not sure how to go about this, just barely breathing out his own name, "Natsume Takashi..." and with that both raised their heads looking at each other for a moment. now what? Natsume had never been prepped for this...and all his instincts were telling him to run! His hands twisting his shirt without meaning to, as Tanuma turned away, Natsume also did the same. 

 

"is there something out there..." Tanuma's soft words pierced it's way through the loud beating of Natsume's heart, and suddenly Natsume felt drenched in icy water...how..how could his soulmat-

"I can't see anything..but I think I can see some weird shadows down there." Natsume whipped around forgetting to stay calm, his heart leaping back into his throat, and the icy cold now feeling more like cold sweats than anything else. Natsume turned towards the yard to see the youkai running around frivolously. 

 

He didn't need to look to know Tanuma was gazing at him, "I heard...well I heard you could see them?" Tanuma didn't need to say what.

"I can." Natsume whispered, his soul feeling like it was outside himself, he felt light, all the emotions that had rampaged within him leaving him almost...empty now. And yet those two simple words brought more heat to his cheeks then ever before....he had never told anyone that; not recently at least. 

Natsume slowly drags his eyes over and like a magnet he locks gazes with Tanuma. 

"But it's a secret..." and like everything Natsume had ever wanted, Tanuma quickly jerked his head in a rough nod, but his cheeks were pulling up with a smile. Natsume found himself responding back with the same reaction. Tanuma's smile was just as bright as Touko's but not nearly as strong, it was soft and gentle, and made the butterflies in Natsume's stomach come to life. For a moment there...Natsume thought he could stay there forever in that exact moment, smiling back at Tanuma, it was peaceful and calm and the light breeze blowing in from the window didn't make it too hot, it was oddly perfect in it's simplicity, and here Natsume thought...he thought it had been a normal day. 

 

 Natsume could feel the soft laughter bubbling up his throat as he felt his embarrassment kick in again. He needed to go back to the Fujiwara's place. Right, no more standing around...someone would see them. 

"I uhh...have to go now." Natsume ducked his head almost shamefully and pulled away heading towards the main entrance to head out for the day. It was then Tanuma finally snapped out of his trance and snatched Natsume's arm without a thought. Natsume jumped in response, looking down at their skin contact, and with a gasp Tanuma had pulled away completely, clutching his hands to his chest; his face redder than a strawberry. 

"I'm so sorry, it's just- I- well-" Tanuma stammered and honestly it wasn't his fault that Natsume's golden cat like eyes were staring him down, Tanuma couldn't handle that gaze well. 

"Can I come with you!" He blurted out without thinking, his brain was probably fried, there was most likely steam flowing out of his ears, and honestly seeing Natsume's own ears and neck turn a lovely shade of scarlet was enough of a gift to Tanuma then getting to hold his arm for those few precious seconds. 

 

"I..yeah." Natsume answered, and honestly that response was just as surprising to him as it was to the other boy. Natsume hadn't..he never brought a new friend over to the Fujiwara's house before...but now that he thought about it, the Fujiwara's would love to meet the person his timer went off for. They had been ecstatic about his timer that the thought of not bringing Tanuma over made him extremely guilty. 

 

Natsume ducked his head again and clutched his bag strap to his chest, and started walking again as Tanuma fell into pace with him silently. The silence was almost deafening, and it just made both Natsume and Tanuma even more nervous; both thinking on what they could say, how to get the other talking. 

 

"So what-"

"How di-"  Both of the boys started at once then laughing awkwardly as they walked out of the school, both muttering for the other to go ahead. Tanuma then smiled and Natsume couldn't help but look away from it, then laughing again at his own embarrassment.

"I was going to ask...um.. how did you know to find me- that is I mean I heard you were looking for me before?" Natsume asked looking down at the dirt path as he headed over to the Fujiwaras, he was somewhat glad Nyanko sensei did not come to greet him today, he knew the reason was because Touko had been planning a big feast in celebration today, but he was glad the old cat wasn't here to witness how awkward the situation was.

 

"Oh!" Tanuma laughed out and scratched the back of his neck with a shy glance at Natsume and looking back forward.

"Well..I just, I heard a rumor how you could maybe see ghosts..or spirits I suppose?" Tanuma laughed, he couldn't look Natsume's way, the sun was starting to set and the golden rays made the other boy look like he was some ethereal creature that was too pretty to gaze upon. When Tanuma did chance a glance he couldn't help but get trapped in a trance, Natsume had the light hitting his pale hair, making it shine like a halo, and he his eyes were like molten gold, pausing Tanuma in his place. Honestly, no one could blame him for missing Natsume's question. But the furrowing of the boy's eyebrows was enough to tip the other boy off. 

"I'm sorry what?" Tanuma asked softly snapping back to reality to hear Natsume's voice. He had seen Natsume multiple times before, usually sleeping on his desk, he was always so pretty, like a doll or an angel, and Tanuma had to run away every time, feeling to bad to have to wake up the peaceful boy. 

"I asked, do you have to head home?" Natsume asked, they had reached a small fork in the road, oh...right, this was the way Tanuma had to take to go home, the left path as Natsume stayed on the right. Tanuma looked down the more rugged left path, with stones uneven and the grass overgrown, heading towards the forest, usually it was a relief to see such a sight, it meant he was almost home. But today...today he just wanted to stay on the right path, he wanted to follow this pale colored boy with golden cat eyes. Today the left path seemed cold and lonely. 

"Uhh...actually do you-"

"You could-"  Both boys snapped their mouths shut instantly again and the tension finally snapped again and they laughed again..what a mess they were. 

"Here um, you can come with me" Natsume offered then when his face became so red he looked like he was ready to pass out he turned around to start walking, Tanuma was absolutely fascinated by the colors dancing on the blonde's face so much so he blanked at answering. His mind just swirling in the depths of Natsume's eyes. 

"Oh! Sorry! Right! I'd love to come with you!" He shouted out speeding up to catch up to the other boy. Natsume smiled bashfully at Tanuma as they matched each others pace, heading towards Fujiwara's house again. 

"uhmm..Tanuma I just..well-you see- I don't really know how to-I mean..." Natsume reached up and grip his hair and Tanuma couldn't help but feel a slight tension as Natsume seemed to struggle with his words. 

"I just..this is very new to me, and I don't-The Fujiwaras are going to be so excited but I...I'm well" Tanuma understood instantly at what Natsume was getting at, he also felt it...the worry and anxiety at something new.. the fact they were expected to just be perfect matches now, and even then...they were both boys...and while Tanuma had lived in the city and had seen what hatred same gendered timed people could get, he had seen how open and kind this small town was. 

 

"I understand Natsume...I get it too, this is all new, and honestly I- we don't really know each other." Tanuma stopped to look at Natsume and he laughed softly, "but I'd like to!" Tanuma awkwardly admitted. 

 

When Natsume opened his mouth again to argue Tanuma instantly cut in again, "Plus! I..I know that us being both-" Tanuma gestured between them with his cheeks getting red in response to Natsume's ears getting red, "- but, I..I don't want to just ignore this I mean-We just met?" Tanuma ended lamely, watching the other boy nod stiffly and heading back down his path. 

 

So this was them now...silently walking to the Fujiwara's house, Natsume itching to run away from his problems again, to hide in a shrine and sleep, and Tanuma so embarrassed he wanted to bury his head in the earth below him. 

 

Natsume couldn't breathe when Tanuma fell into pace with him and their hands brushed together as they walked, and with a snap Natsume snatched his hand to his chest, Tanuma watching with wide eyes. Natsume completely ducked his head and just started marching towards the Fujiwaras' house. 

Natsume could hear Tanuma following behind him when he finally saw his place come into view, and suddenly his nerves peaked beyond his control and he froze. The warmth of Tanuma could be felt to his right as the other boy walked closer to him looking confused. 

Natsume looked down at his feet, and he felt like he had hit a wall,  _what if the Fujiwara's weren't accepting?  What if they weren't happy? What if-_

"Natsume?" Tanuma whispered softly gazing at Natsume, as he rose his eyes up to meet him. Natsume opened his mouth to speak, but he can't find the words in his lungs...Tanuma smiled shyly in response as if he understood, and maybe in someway he did. Tanuma looked back at the house but then looked back at Natsume with a bright smile, and a raised hand out to Natsume to latch onto...right...Natsume wasn't alone here anymore. 

 

When Natsume did finally have the courage to reach forward and take the other boy's hand it was with a shaky hand and an even shakier heart. Tanuma's hand was hot...hot and sweaty just like his own, and it was clear they both were extremely nervous here. But...they had each other on this road, and that almost made it bearable. The setting sun hit Tanuma's  hair and gave him a halo of light, and his smile was hesitant but still so bright just like that light around his head. He looked like an angel or a God, and Natsume couldn't help but realize...maybe, maybe he did want this. 

 

They took the first step together, hands clasped tight, and slowly they made it up the stone pavement leading to the entrance way. Natsume's heart was thudding so loud he was sure Tanuma could feel it thrumming through his fingers. Slowly Natsume raised his hand up to the entrance and slowly slid the door open, and he could feel Tanuma's hand tighten against his own. Natsume slowly stepped in but before he even had a chance to get a whiff of the food Touko-san had been making he was enveloped in a large hug by said woman. When this story would be told later Natsume would vehemently deny he screamed when Touko hugged him out of the blue- but in reality he did. 

But just as quickly as she came, she was gone, scooping up Tanuma in her arms and gazing him over, which the source of her subject started to flame up under such scrutiny. 

 

"Oooh! Takashi! Is this him!" She called out with the greatest joy Natsume had ever heard from her; she pulled back completely to gaze at the two boys and her smile was impossibly wide. Natusme didn't know what to say or how to react, and judging by the equal silence coming from Tanuma, the other boy didn't either. Touko gazed at the two boys exoectantly and suddenly it dawned on Natsume what she had asked.

 

"O-oh! Yes! This is, Taaa-taanuma" Natsume choked out. Touko's sweet smile calmed Natsume's nerves and suddenly there was Nyanko Sensei with narrowed eyes, but a small smirk pulling on his lips. Natsume couldn't help the scowl as the fat cat started to walk away with a light bounce. Then there Shigeru, and his calmly surprised face, but then a small smile as well. 

"Hello Tanuma-kun, I'm Fujiwara, Shigeru, and this is Touko, my timed, It's nice to meet you." Shigeru calmly stated with a bow. Tanuma was quick to follow up with a bow of his own

"Hello Fujiwara-san, I'm Tanuma, Kaname!" Tanuma shouted out with a stammer, and with a quick slap to his own mouth and an apology, the Fujiwaras laughed softly at Tanuma's antics. 

 

"Oh! Please come in!" Touko cried out herding Natsume and Tanuma towards the kitchen table. Natsume didn't know what to say and doing the chaos he had dropped Tanuma's hand, the loss of warmth was a bigger discomfort than Natsume would have thought it would've been. 

 

He found himself seated in his usual spot, Nyanko Sensei on his lap happily stealing food and Tanuma to his right, also stiff and looking just as shell shocked as Natsume felt. Except Natsume felt a bit dumb...of course the Fujiwara's would accept him...accept his- well...his soulmate, the Fujiwaras were the greatest people in the world, and Natsume would never trade them for anything. It was then the Fujiwaras-mostly Tokuo- started asking so many questions, that Natsume did find beyond helpful. She was asking the questions for Natsume, the questions Natsume wanted to ask, but didn't have the courage to voice. 

Natsume learned Tanuma had just moved into the Temple by the Dog's Circle group a couple weeks before Natsume had arrived. He also found out, that Tanuma did not have his mother anymore, but his father more than made up for it. By the time the dinner was over and everyone was full Touko stood up and almost demanded Tanuma stay and call his father that all was well, and Tanuma complied; and maybe Natsume was kind of happy about that, but he would never admit it out loud. 

 

That was how Natsume found himself in his futon after a hot bath next to Tanuma who also had had a hot bath. Touko and Shigeru had  both wished them goodnight and embarrassingly Touko had kissed Natsume on the forehead- which wasn't  _unwelcome_ , in fact Natsume loved when Touko hugged him and showed affection like that (it always made Natsume feel so much lighter) but he didn't have the emotional capacity to handle being next to Tanuma and having Touko act this way at the same time. 

 

Although it wasn't as if Tanuma was faring much better judging by his squirming, tomorrow Natsume would be sent over to Tanuma's place- it was custom apparently. 

Tanuma quickly rolled over to look at Natsume and his eyes were dark and yet not the normal shifty black pits Natsume had seen before on his past relatives, rather his eyes were like a deep and calming ocean, a deep blue that was shaded by the moonlight sky. Natsume knew he was going to get lost in those eyes. 

Tanuma had a hand reached out towards Natsume, but it wasn't as if they wanted to touch, it was like a mutual understanding they had done enough embarrassing hand holding to make their hearts race- now....it was just about the warmth the other boy could give to the other. Just the comfort and warmth of close proximity. Natsume found himself just staring at Tanuma and for once he wanted to spill, spill everything inside himself, every drop that threatened to over flow and flood his emotions; and he was sure Tanuma felt the same. But for now they just stared and then slowly Tanuma smiled a soft goodnight...because that was all they needed for now. They had a lifetime to understand and learn each other, they could take their time. It would take time...but they had time, they had their whole life to be with each other and Natsume couldn't wait for it. 

 

With that he fell asleep, his eyes sloping closed the last thing he saw was Tanuma's dark blue eyes and his dark messy hair, and Natsume couldn't help but feel completely happy. For the first time ever he sleep peacefully. 


	2. Chapter 2: First Steps

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Natsume and Tanuma take a step forward in being soulmates and decide to share their status, the results of doing so cuase a bit more emotions than either were expecting.

It wasn’t until a month later when someone finally caught on that maybe Tanuma and Natsume were more than friends at school. Both Tanuma and Natsume had agreed that they preferred to let their status as soulmates remain secret- they just...they wanted to get to know each other before the weight of what that exactly meant landed on their shoulders. So they did, purposely wearing longer shirts, or hiding the timer behind wristbands, or partially covering it with watches. 

 

Of course when the time came and Taki had stumbled into his life, Natsume had not lied to her, and when he lost his sight, she more than easily caught on when Tanuma had been by Natsume’s side all night reassuring him he could see Nyanko- sensei’s shadow. 

It was the nicest thing Tanuma had ever done for Natsume, whispering such kind words and petting his hair back as he came close to tears- he held the gentle disposition of Touko, and yet the steady calm support Shigeru was. 

 

And so..there was no secret for Taki- she never was kept from the yokai world either. 

  
  


Kitomoto was funny enough, not the first to catch the timer of the rest of the friend group- despite being one of the most observant of all the boys. It was actually Nishimura, and honestly Natsume should have seen it a mile away. What with the way Nishimura draped himself over Natsume and whined about how he wished his timer would go off soon (he still had quite a bit of years left). 

 

So of course it was on a day Natsume had been on a rush, had forgotten his usual wrist watch, and had fallen asleep in class- Nyanko-sensei had dragged quite a lot of spirits over in disguise of celebration. (Natsume knew he just did it to drink.)

So when he was woken up by the other boy draping himself over with another whine on why couldn’t Taki be his timed; Natsume didn’t have the time to hide all the zeroes. 

The impending screech was enough for Natsume to cover his ears in exhaustion and flinch at the boy’s screams. It was then Nishimura managed to somehow jump around Natsume’s desk and clutch the other boy’s arm in his hands, his eyes wide and he looked almost...furious?

 

“ _ Natsuuuuume _ !” Nishimura whined as he pulled on Natsume’s arm again, Natsume tried a small shakey smile- this was what the scariest thing was to Natsume...everyone’s reaction to what his timer going off with meant. Nishimura’s furrowed eyebrows and huffs were almost heart shattering, and strong enough to make Natsume make a break for it. 

 

“How could  you not tell me- US! Kitamoto doesn’t know does he! Huh!? Tanuma!?-” Nishimura suddenly gasped and pulled back a hand coming to his chest, and the other to his mouth as if heartbroken, “It’s not Taki is it?” 

 

“NO!” Natsume quickly stood up and waved his hands out in front of Nishimura, and the later boy looked relieved. Natsume looked around to see other students staring at his loud outburst, and quickly ducked his head and mumbled another soft no as his eyes ignited in red. 

Nishimura still looked a bit unimpressed- it was then when Kitamoto and Tanuma saved the day. Natsume looked up at the surprised and worried eyes from Tanuma, and Natsume winced a bit knowing this was going to be a rollercoaster of emotion. Nishimura grabbed Natsume’s arm and dragged it over for the other boys to see. 

“DO YOU SEE THIS! NATSUME KEPT THE FACT HE ME-” With a loud smack Nishimura was sushed, and there was Kitamoto covering his mouth with a glare; then with a forced smile he demanded they head to the rooftop for lunch. 

 

So that’s what they did, because Kitamoto was actually their leader in everything- even though he did let Nishimura take charge more often than not. Nishimura was dragged off by his ear and the repeating  _ ow! _ Was the mantra Natsume and Tanuma had as they followed behind. Natsume was too worried to look up at Tanuma, but Tanuma was more than anything Natsume needed in his life, and with a soft brush of his fingers on his wrist Natsume slowly lifted his eyes. 

 

The smile was surprising to say the least, he looked so content just to stare and smile at Natsume, his cheeks were dusted with a small amount of blush and he didn’t look nearly as nervous as he usually did when it came to this whole soulmate business. Along with the fact the gray blue lighting from the drowsy sky did wonders to make Tanuma look beautiful. Natsume had to duck away from that thought but as he started to head up the stairs he did let his fingers tangle with Tanuma’s; this was gonna be a difficult talk and Natsume needed all the strength he could get.  

 

When Tanuma opened up the door to the roof his hand and the accompanying warmth left with it. Natsume felt that familiar loss he usually did when Tanuma left his side. Natsume looked at the overcasted sky and slowly made his march over to Kitamoto who sat cross legged and looked annoyed as Nishimura looked apologetic. 

The minute Natsume sat Nishimura instantly started babbling his apologies, all of which were refuted by Natsume himself. It was then when Kitamoto stepped in, raising a hand to silence Nishimura who easily complied. Tanuma didn’t make a single peep as he slowly pulled out his lunch and handing Natsume’s his own by pressing the box into his slightly shaking hands; Natsume was just happy to cling onto something as Kitamoto sat in silence for a moment. 

 

“Natsume, I want to apologize for this idiot” For once Nishimura stayed silent at being called an idiot. Natsume sat stock still as Kitamoto took a deep breath, “Natsume, you should be allowed to keep your timed  **_private,_ ** and not paraded around the whole school for gosip.” Kitamoto emphasized as he glared at Nishimura who simply curled up into himself even further with shame dusting the back of his neck. 

 

“That being said...if you want to talk about it, you can.” Kitamoto offered softly and nodding leaving a finalization in the air. Natsume let a small smile land on his lips, he knew Nishimura had meant no harm to his words, an Kitamoto would definitely reign in the other boy should he go too far. And despite the cold frigid air, and the overcasted sky; Natsume felt a warmth warm itself inside his chest and into his cheeks, and for the first time wanted to share it out loud. 

Natsume glanced over to Tanuma and Tanuma smiled sweetly back already understanding the question that was in Natsume’s heart. 

 

Natsume let a hand grip the hem of his pressed shirt as he took a big gulp of air to prepare himself. 

“A-..Actually...I um...I didn’t want to keep it a se- Well….no” Natsume shook his head as he started to rephrase. “I did want to keep it a secret, just so I could get to know the other person first? I just..” 

 

“Natsume you don’t have to explain yourself! I was being too rash! I’m sorry!” Nishimura butted in as he grabbed the other boy’s hands in his own and Natsume could feel the heat radiating off of Tanuma scooting closer. The proximity was more than enough to give Natsume courage. Natsume shook his head vehemently and stood his ground. 

“Actually, I want to share it with you now, and I know you won’t judge me for keeping it….quiet.” Natsume started but suddenly he was losing face- he couldn’t continue on...what if- what if- Suddenly Tanuma’s hand was resting on Natsume’s hand, replacing the spot Nishimura once held. Natsume felt even more heat come to his cheeks as he closed his eyes to take a steadying breath. 

 

“I-” and before Natsume could say anything it was Nishimura who suddenly jumped up with a loud, ‘ **_I KNEW IT!_ ** ’ 

  
  


Kitamoto just sighed as Nishimura started to practically scream in his excitement and Natsume didn’t even realize he had started to curl back into Tanuma’s hold for support, although Tanuma wasn’t holding up much better. He slowly was turning into a sheet of white at the loud screams and Kitamoto looking down right annoyed. His hands letting go of Natsume’s hands in favor clasp onto the back of Natsume’s shirt. 

 

“What?” Natsume couldn’t help but utter out in confusion. 

 

“I CALLED IT! DID I NOT!” Nishimura shrieked out clapping his hands as he did so. Kitamoto groaned and flopped backwards with a soft  _ thump.  _

 

“It’s Tanuma isn’t it!?” Nishimura stomped forward demanding with the largest smile ever, Natsume didn’t know what to make of it, but ever so softly he could feel Tanuma nod, and it was then Natsume realized he was practically on Tanuma’s lap. Which did end with Natsume doing a mad scramble away from his soulmate in embarrassment. 

 

“I KNEW IT! DID I NOT!?” Nishimura continued to shriek out at Kitamoto, who only groaned in annoyance. 

“I knew there had to be a reason! Nobody just becomes that close out of nowhere!” Nishimura started clapping his hands on every word. Kitamoto finally getting off the floor.

“Hey! It can happen!” Kitamoto tried to argue,

“Not that fast!” Nishimura cried out with a wide smile. 

 

Natsume couldn't help but stand up from the loud screaming and starting to head out. Tanuma quickly following after and catching his hand, Nishimura and Kitamoto still arguing, not noticing the other two boys exiting. 

 

The minute the roof door shut with a loud thud Natsume found his heart started to calm. Tanuma was right behind him his hand on Natsume and he smiled so brightly at Natsume, that he wanted to run away even more than before. Tanuma always did well at making Natsume melt, he could simply smile and Natsume would want to become a puddle in the floor. 

 

Tanuma ducked down to catch Natsume's eyes with a quirk of his lips, “thank you for admitting what-well...I guess, we didn't actually admit anything since Nishimura kind of…” Tanuma trailed off and both him and Natsume laughed, not realizing how close they were gravitating towards each other. Without even noticing their sides were pressed together and Natsume was close enough he could count every dark eyelash on Tanuma's pale face, he could see the slightly chapped lips closer than they'd ever been before. Natsume suddenly blinked and snapped back with a gulp, Tanuma also looked surprised at the sudden movement but when he too realized how close they had been his cheeks became just as red as Natsume's were. 

 

Natsume ducked down again and looked away from Tanuma just mumbling a “I'm sorry”. Which Tanuma also mumbled back and when both looked back up they laughed again. And they fell into silence, not in uncomfortable silence, in fact it was more than comfortable, it was relaxing and welcoming to sit down on those steps and eat his lunch with Tanuma. Natsume was surprised at how loved he felt in that moment, Tanuma by his side radiating warmth and the Fujiwaras’ food sitting in his lap. The food was good, well more than good, Touko's food was always filled with the most love Natsume had ever felt in his life, and it was more than delicious, it always was able to bring such warmth to Natsume's chest. And then there was Tanuma, sitting so close their hips touching to the point that their hands were brushing against each other when they picked out their food.

 

It was so amazing and so far away from the loneliness Natsume had once felt so deep in his chasm of a heart that he was almost afraid if he blinked or would all disappear on him. It was such an overwhelming emotion of a fear and yet love that he wasn't surprised when his eyesight started to blur. 

The sky started to cry just as Natsume did.

 

Nishimura and Kitamoto did run inside and their clothes were wet but seeing Natsume cry had both boys in their knees despite the cold and instantly trying to comfort the boy. 

 

How could Natsume ask for anything more...this was  **home.**

 

Natsume was quick to hide his tears behind his fingers and wipe them away from his friends. Each Whispering reassurances, and apologies in the case of Nishimura. Natsume never thought he would have people care like this before, and it was the loveliest thing he had the joy of feeling yet. So he laughed. His shoulders shook as he laughed and all three boys beside him started to look increasingly concerned but 

Natsume couldn't speak to reassure them, all he could do was laugh as the tears feel. 

 

“Natsume? You okay?” Nishimura asked leaning in to look at Natsume's face his hand delicately placed on the blondes shoulder

 

“Th-thank you.” Natsume whispered, and he meant it.

He meant it  _ so _ much. 

 

Nishimura without prompting threw his arms around Natsume and pulled him into a tight hug, and right there that comfort and warmth from even a soaked hug gave Natsume so much….well the only word Natsume knew what to call it was love. 

 

It did end up taking a bit of prompting and a bell ring to have the boys peel away from each other, Tanuma's fingers brushing away reluctantly as they split up for their classes. Before he walked fully in Nishimura patted him on the back and had that same goofy grin that could always make Natsume laugh. He had such  **good** friends here. So Natsume walked into class. 

 

Later he would drift off in class to the soft tapping of the rain on the window pain next to him and slip into a dream. It was dark as it always was in his dreams, and slowly he saw his grandmother Reiko sitting on a grassy hill, it was blurred and monochromatic in his view, but Reiko looked just as calm as she usually did despite the fact she was alone. Just like she always was. Natsume could see her timer glowing softly on her arm and he saw it counting down endlessly, it would be so long before she found someone, but Natsume hoped with all he had that she would in fact find someone. Tanuma was a gift, and she deserved happiness just like Natsume had found. 

 

He watched as she looked up at a blank figure and smiled in her usual way, standing as she patted down her skirt and followed the taller Male, Natsume couldn't help but notice that they held hands despite the fact both their timers were still counting down…

 

Natsume was woken up by a soft hand petting his hair and he blinked his eyes open to see Tanuma's own dark ones. He couldn't help but smile at his soulmate, how lucky he was to meet Tanuma so young. Tanuma smiled back, as Natsume started to get up. It was a comfortable silence as they started to walk out of the room, they weren't touching and there were students still running around but it was then they both were hit with the sudden knowledge it was still pouring outside and neither boy lived close by. 

 

“You wouldn't-

“Do you happen-”  both boy started at the same time and laughed awkwardly, they still hadn't gotten that down yet. Natsume gestured for Tanuma to speak.

 

“Do you happen to have an umbrella?” Tanuna asked his eyes flickering between the entrance and Natsume. Natsume winced as he too looked at the sky that was ripping apart with tears from the gods. 

 

“I was hoping you kept one?” Natsume offered, raising his pitch at the end in a question. Tanuma slowly shook his head...well great. Natsume looked back out at the pouring rain well...there was no other option to run. 

 

“I live closer.” Natsume stated as he looked st Tanuma, who simply looked confused. 

 

“Come on!” Natsume took Tanuma's wrist and started running into the cold rain, and within seconds they were both drenched but it didn't matter, Tanuma's squeak of surprise made everything worth it as Natsume ran. His shoes slapping against the puddles and mud, Tanuma stumbling behind him as they raced towards the Fujiwara's. 

  
  


By the time they stumbled their way inside the small entryway they were dripping and were quickly scolded and pushed towards the bathroom by Touko to warm up. Natsume stumbled in first with a soft smile and Tanuma was right behind him apologizing profusely for the water droplets from their clothes, but Natsume found he couldn't care. It was as if he was on a high, and despite feeling chilled to the bone so far that his teeth rattle he couldn't help the soft smile that pulled on his lips. Although he did apologize any whispers of sorry were shut down by Touko's fond smile and shut of the bathroom door. 

 

Tanuma was quick to catch Natsume's eyes and fall into hysterics as well both flushed as the water that Touko had already prepared had steamed up the room. But that was where they both hit their predicament. Today...they had moved a step in admitting what they were to close friends even if said friend already knew but suddenly a whole new step was rushing towards them. Touko had expected them to wash or warm up at the same time, and the Fujiwara's only had one bath...and even if one waited there was a high chance said person would get sick. Despite how much Natsume and Tanuma wanted to deny it they knew they were fragile to the cold. 

 

Tanuma scratched the back of his head, his shaggy hair starting to puff up in the steam. Natsume looked down at his own clothes on now just realizing how soaked his white shirt was and sticking to him. He opened his mouth when Tanuma quickly raided his hand, his cheeks colored beyond any red Natsume had seen before. Natsune found he liked that color on Tanuma. 

“I'll uhh look away and you tell me when you're in the bath? And I'll do the same?” Tanuma offered. Natsume suddenly got bright red as well, he had never... _ never _ been, well….. **_Naked_ ** in front of Tanuna before….and the thought was enough to make Natsume feel dizzy. 

 

Not only that but Tanuma would be…. _ naked _ too! 

 

Natsume wasn't ready for this! He didn't! He had never been in this situation before! What if!? What if somehow he messes up!? What if Tanuma doesn't like what he sees? Was Natsume still bruised up? Did he have any marks??? 

 

Without realizing it the blond boy had slowly sat himself on the floor fingers laced into his hair pulling tightly. 

 

When Tanuma saw how panicked Natsume was he instantly collapsed next to him gentle hands so slightly running up to hug Natsume's. Tanuma had seen Natsume collapse in these fit of fears before. It was rare seeing as the other boys Fight or flight response was  **_Phenomenal._ ** But once and a while Natsume would find himself overwhelmed to the point of crumbling, to the point his hands would clasp at his ears and he would lose all semblance of a normal breathing pattern. 

 

Tanuma never knew for sure what did him in to these points, but he always knew Natsume became very clingy and would flinch way more around this time. Maybe one day they would be close enough for Natsume to share what in his mind was dark enough to drag him into the corners and restrain him in such a way. A lot of time his tears would fall silently afterwards and Tanuma knew better than to speak about those droplets of water. Natsume always cried without a hitch in his breath always silently and always head bowed as if he was afraid someone would see his presence and ask him to step away. Natsume was always so careful on his own existence apologizing for taking the space he resided in, so much so that Tanuma wanted to yell at anyone who made his soulmate feel like he needed to apologize for it. Those were moments like these where Tanuma had to work so hard to battle the rage in his heart to ground Natsume back into his own reality. 

 

The best way to do so, Tanuma found, was to take his hands in his own and whisper soft praises in his ear, Natsume was always so weak to those. So with Natsume's lithe hands in his own Tanuma ever so gently extracted them from his hair and let their fingers entwine. Natsume was still breathing hard but Tanuma leaned in closer to try and catch those lovely golden eyes. 

“Natsume, take a breath, you're doing so good” Tanuma whispered as Natsume's chest heaved. 

“That's it...come back to me, it's okay, you're doing so so good right now, I'm so proud.” It didn't matter how long it took, Tanuma would whisper whatever Natsume needed for however long he needed it. Tanuma knew he would fall in love with Natsume (that was obvious since they were soulmates) but it was in this moment he realized he was in love with the blond. 

 

Even these moments, even though they hurt and caused pain Tanuma would always want to be here in this moment, helping Natsume back into breathing. 

 

When the blonde's ears started to turn red and Natsume's grip eased Tanuma knew he was back to him. 

 

“Hey...how about..we don't get out of our clothes?” Tanuma whispered before the other boy could even think to apologize. Tanuma never was a leader and never was someone to be someone's rock but Natsume made him want to be. He wanted to be Natsume's strength. 

 

“W-what” Natsume looked up surprised. 

 

“Well….these clothes are already wet? And we just need to warm up..not bathe…” Tanuma tried to reason, trying to give Natsume a path he was comfortable on, he knew the thought of losing his clothes made Natsume nervous, goodness the thought alone was enough to make Tanuma want to curl up into a ball. 

 

“Let's just get into the bath with our clothes on!” Tanuma blurted out quickly when Natsume opened his mouth again. He watched as Natsume blinked once, twice, three times as he tried to comprehend what Tanuma was suggesting. But slowly his lips pulled up and that wondrous noise of a laugh came; Tanuma loved his laugh, it was breathy as if he was surprised by it and yet still had the light jingle of his voice that Tanuma loved so much. 

 

“With our clothes?” Natsume asked in clarification one eyebrow slightly raised and Tanuma nodded with a dopey smile falling on his own lips, he loved seeing Natsume look like that, even if the corner of his eyes were wet with tears. 

Tanuma nodded enthusiastically and for good measure pulled off his belt and socks and sat himself down in the hot water. It was an odd sensation, he had never sat in a bathtub with his clothes on before. But the water was still warm and Natsume was laughing and that's all that mattered. 

 

“See it's actually not that bad!” Tanuma smiled at the other boy although he felt his face and neck brighten with slight embarrassment as Natsume laughed and started to follow suit. 

 

First was the socks, Natsume's famous blue socks, Tanuma noticed he wore those socks a lot, the little splash of color in Natsume's pale form. Next was the belt, and that sight alone was enough to make Tanuma look away. The sight of Natsume's slender fingers sliding the belt away was- well...it made Tanuma gulp. 

 

Then suddenly their legs were pressed against each other and Natsume was laughing that breathy laugh again as his own face was a matching red as Tanuma. 

“Hi” Natsume whispered with a smile, the bath tub was cramped and they both had their knees curled up to their chins. 

 

“Hi” Tanuma whispered back as if he was uttering a secret. Both didn’t mind how close they had to be pressed to each other in order to fit in the bath, and the fact they were still clothed was a plus, and lucky for Tanuma, Natsume’s knees blocked his see through white shirt.

 

But it was warm and the air was hot and both their cheeks were colored red, Natsume laid his cheek on his knees with a soft blink as if he was getting tired. Tanuma liked to think him like a cat: and the slow blinking met that he loved him. It sure didn’t help that Natsume’s eyes were always cat like in appearance. Tanuma loved those eyes. 

 

“I’m sorry about freaking out earlier.” Natsume whispered just barely above his breath, and Tanuma let his chin rest on his knees. 

“No, I was a little freaked out too” Tanuma tried to laugh off, “I didn’t think I was going to be well…” Tanuma let his voice drift as Natsume nodded in understanding. 

 

“Well...I guess we are-well we always were but….We are out I guess…?” Natsume whispered again with that small dopey smile Tanuma had learned meant Natsume felt happy and loved. 

 

“I suppose so.” Tanuma laughed back, it was kind of nice to know he could hold Natsume’s hand out in school now. Didn’t have to hide his timer or pretend he wasn’t irrevocably happy at seeing Natsume. 

 

It was a nice feeling. 

 

“We should probably get out?” Natsume suggested. It was a good idea, eventually the novelty of wearing their clothes in the bath was going to be a bad idea. 

 

“Yeah..yeah, uhhh… clothes?” Tanuma asked softly, looking around the room to try and find some not so wet clothes to wear. 

 

Natsume looked up and right...clothes...Standing up he carefully walked over the side of the bath and headed towards the door, sliding it open just enough for him to see the small pile of clothes for him and his soulmate. With Nyanko Sensei happily laying on his folded shirt... Not even noticing that Tanuma had gotten even redder not by the heat of the bath. Natsume didn’t know that his shirt was clinging in a way that for the first time ever Tanuma was seeing his shoulder blades. 

 

No, Natsume was focused on one thing only and that was scowling at Nyanko sensei to get the fat cat off the folded clothes. It didn’t matter how much Nyanko yowled he wouldn’t yell when Touko and Shigeru were nearby, preferring to appear as a simple cat so he could mooch off the kind couple. 

 

Snatching the clothes away from Nyanko who simply huffed with a scowl did Natsume slide the door closed again and bring them over to Tanuma. Suddenly the wet clothes seemed like a bad idea, what with the way the fabric draped over Tanuma’s shoulders or the way the fabric was suddenly getting cooler by the second.

 

“Uhh...here” Natsume offered lamely as he handed over a pile of clothes to Tanuma. Also feeling flustered both turning away from each other in order to get dressed, which was somewhat enough to give Natsume a heart attack….he didn’t like the idea of being so exposed any part of the time, but being exposed in front of Tanuma just seemed to be even worse of an idea. It was enough to want to make Natsume run or sink into the floor, whichever was easiest...he still felt shaky from his...well….panic earlier, and all he wanted to do was curl up into a ball. 

 

Peeling off the soaked clothing was hard enough as it was, but having to do so with the very prominent feeling of Tanuma behind him made it so much worse. But he managed, and it wasn’t until he got the warm clothes on did Natsume realize how could he was before all that. Turning back around to Tanuma he couldn’t help but smile a bit, it always made him laugh when Tanuma had to wear his clothes. Natsume’s clothes were always so much smaller than Tanuma’s and they did good to draw out the lean muscle that Tanuma had. Natsume forgot that Tanuma had taken Karate. 

 

It….was nice to just appreciate once and awhile. 

 

By the time the two boys were dressed and back inside Natsume’s room it was easy for Natsume to curl up into Tanuma’s side and smell the familiar minty smell that seemed to linger on Tanuma’s skin. It was very foresty and Natsume loved that smell more than anything.

 

He could hear the soft mumble of Touko calling Tanuma- san and telling him how she didn’t have the heart to seperate the boys. Natsume could hear and feel Nyanko-Sensei moving closer and crawling onto his legs, another source of heat and dare Natsume say it- love? Nyanko Sensei was the third parent Natsume never wanted- but very much needed. 

 

But beside all that the most important thing Natsume could hear was Tanuma’s heartbeat in his right ear. Natsume was curled into Tanuma’s lap and Tanuma was leaning back also drifting away. Tanuma’s arms loosely wrapped around Natsume’s hips and Natsume’s hands curled on Tanuma’s chest. It was the first time they had been this close while sleeping but….today was filled with firsts…

 

It was just another step forward in Natsume and Tanuma’s future together but it was the happiest both boys had been in a long time. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey Guys! Let me know what you think or if you want more!   
> This chapter was more of a fluff piece than anything- honestly these are all fluff pieces haha. 
> 
> This is sort of a slow burn relationship...without the burn...I wanted to catch their characters more than anything.


	3. Chapter 3: First Kiss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This was the first time Natsume was going to be able to see the Summer Festival Fireworks, and the Fujiwara's made sure it would be a proper date for him and Tanuma.

It was a warm summer day when Natsume found himself mindlessly reaching for Tanuma’s hair; it had grown quite a bit since Natsume had met him. Natsume found he could no longer easily see Tanuma’s nape and that was almost- well it was enough to make Natsume want to mourn for that pale skin he no longer was able to see. 

 

It also was quite wonderful to see the red blush rise up across Tanuma’s skin when Natsume found his fingers brushing against it. It was almost magic-well until Natsume remembered what he was doing and pulled away in his own embarrassment- they still hadn’t gotten over that. Neither knew it but Touko and Shigeru thought it was the most adorable thing seeing both young boys fumble with each other’s presence. 

 

So there Natsume was hand thoughtlessly raised to brush aside the soft kitten like hair at the back of Tanuma’s neck when he suddenly realized what he was doing. He found his arm pulling back but suddenly was hit with the realization- Tanuma had his back to him, he hadn’t noticed that Natsume had his hand raised to brush against his neck. And for once in his life, Natsume wanted to take something… just like he had done with the Fujiwara’s, he wanted to reach out and finally express the desire he had. Natsume pulled his hand back an inch then found him reraising his arm and lightly stroking the back of Tanuma’s hair aside to see that familiar pale skin, although it didn’t stay pale for long. That oh so familiar pink raising across Tanuma’s neck and bubbling up to his ears. The sight alone was enough to cause Natsume’s cheeks redden in response. When Tanuma raised his own hand to cover over his neck and turn to catch Natsume red handed with his arm raised, Natsume didn’t know what do. Suddenly his desire to reach out felt foolish as his heart thumped so hard he felt like his arms were shaking from the force. 

Tanuma’s cheeks were so red but so slowly the corners of his mouth pulled up unevenly and he offered up a quirk of a smile and it was perfect. So, so perfect that laughter started bubbling into Natsume’s throat and he couldn’t help but let it loose and the release of tension between them. 

 

They found themselves giggling in response and Tanuma bumped into Natsume as they sat next to each other. Natsume found himself unconsciously leaning against his soulmate and look out at the small garden Touko and him had planted. Tanuma took a deep sigh in the heat when Nyanko-sensei came out with a watermelon conspicuously placed in his mouth. His chubby body bumped against Natsume’s thigh and he already was done with the watermelon by the time he had sat down next to the two boys. Natsume sighed and looked down at his fat cat who gave him a look of pure teasing. Natsume extracted himself from Tanuma to swat away his useless body guard who left with a light laughter- heading towards Touko who was still sitting inside working on something. In Natsume's opinion; the probable only reason Nyanko sensei came outside was the brag about the fact he got to eat food while the two boys had to sit in the hot sun. Natsume and Tanuma were not allowed in until Touko was done- it was meant to be a surprise, whatever it was. Later today Natsume and Tanuma were going to go to the summer festival for the first time as soulmates. Well...that wasn’t true, Natsume and Tanuma had gone to the summer festival before, although it had been with a small fox spirit and Natsume had missed the fireworks. 

 

But this was different. Oh so different. Nishimura was gone for the summer- he was traveling with his mother to make sure his brother was comfortable in his college. Kitamoto was also busy today although Natsume couldn’t say for certain why. Taki and Sasada were going together and were very adamant to say they wanted a girls night together. Which meant it was just going to be Tanuma and Natsume tonight. And that thought alone was almost exhilarating as well as terrifying. Natsume and Tanuma were going on their first...well...date. 

 

Natsume sat up and Tanuma flickered a glance over but kept watching the soft breeze sway the small flowers barely budding from the young garden. Natsume was surprised by the new desire to want to plant something there with Tanuma- something to show his love just like he had with Touko and Shigeru. Something that would grow and become strong just as Natsume's heart had. He felt like he could cry all over again, but that wouldn't do, instead he laid his head back down on Tanuma’s shoulder wordlessly and let his hands rest in his lap. 

 

Tanuma was wearing nice clothes for once- and not that Natsume would say it- but he missed the soft delinquent look Tanuma could pull off. The buttoned up shirt tucked in was good though, anything Tanuma wore was good honestly. And the way Tanuma had tried to style his hair was admirable, to say the least. Although it hadn't worked; Tanuma's hair was stubborn, and the wild strands always found themself loose and free. Natsume loved his hair.

Tanuma's pants were more stiff than Natsume had seen before and with a small tilt of his head he could suddenly see the freshly bought tag still tied to the pants. 

 

Natsume couldn't help the laughter suddenly tumbling out of his lips as he leaned away from Tanuma, raising a hand up to hold back the tears that threatened to escape. Tanuma was quick to turn towards Natsume with a raised eyebrow and quirked smile trying to understand. 

 

“T-Tanuma!” Natsume choked out between giggles, “you left the tag on!”

 

With a quick glance down Tanuma's face become the deepest shade of red Natsume had ever seen. He quickly turned to rip off the new tag and crumble it up in his tight fist. 

“It's! Not!” Tanuma tried to utter out but Natsume slowly slipped into a teasing smirk-something that was rare for Natsume but a lovely sight nonetheless. 

But now was not the time, this was the time for Tanuma to scream in embarrassment.

 

“I just- it wasn't for this occasion!” Tanuma cried out with so much embarrassment it was reaching beyond his neck and into his chest. Natsume laughed so hard he practically cackled as he fell backwards. (Neither knew but Touko had looked up from her sewing to smile so widely at Shigeru- to hear their Natsume finally sound so happy) 

 

“I swear! It- it was a gift and I just never got the chance-” Tanuma tried to explain but Natsume was quick to shake his head and laugh so full heartedly and each a hand out and clasp onto Tanuma's to give some reassurance. 

 

Natsume's laughter slowed as he slowly ran his fingers through Tanuma's palm to feel the tag.

“I like them!” Natsume told Tanuma with a bright smile- and honestly Tanuma hadn't looked so beautiful before. Natsume was looking up at Tanuma; and the sunlight was hitting Tanuma in a perfect way. His stubborn black hair shined white around the edges where the light had hit him; leaving a distinct halo around his head that made him all the more ethereal. His cheeks were still dusted red and the corners of his eyes were crunched together to show his own amusement. His dark lashes were so prominent and Natsume hadn't noticed how long they were until today. 

The light seemed to hit the wood patio beneath them and bounce back into Tanuma's dark eyes and suddenly there was those light flickers of a lighter blue in those irises. Natsume's lips parted with a soft surprise at those lighter flakes in his eyes, he'd never seen those before and they were gorgeous. There was a unique moment as Tanuma and Natsume gazed at each other locking eyes and completely stuck. Natsume's heart was pounding as Tanuma's lips also parted… Tanuma was slowly leaning closer and Natsume's could practically feeling Tanuma's pulse rocketing against his fingers.

 

“TANUMA! TAKASHI!” Touko called out, both boys jumped apart and Natsume felt the heat explode across his own face and a quick glance towards Tanuma showed he was the same. 

 

Neither boy could look at each other as the embarrassment took over. Natsume was quick to stand up and head inside, Tanuma following behind. 

 

When Natsume walked inside he passed a smirking Nyanko-sensei.

“Got a little carried away huh?” Nynako-sensei hissed with a laugh. Without a thought Natsume had already raised a fist and swatted his cat away. Tanuma was already walking ahead choosing to ignore Nyanko's comment his face tomato red. 

Natsume followed after as Nyanko howled and ran off; when he walked inside he could see Tanuma frozen with a surprised look and Touko showing off a fabric. 

 

Natsume leaned on his toes  to glance over Tanuma's shoulder to see the fabric Touko was showing off. 

 

“Do you like it? Here Tanuma try it on!” Touko thrusted a navy blue yukata at Tanuma. It was plainer but had such intricate gold embroidery on the sleeves and the bottom of the yukata. Tanuma was blinking in surprise as Touko started pushing Tanuma into the yukata, and he looked...absolutely...stunning. the dark navy seemed to draw out the paler look of his skin as well as compliment his dark eyes. Touko was quick to start pushing needles into the fabric, other pins between her teeth as she worked, making sure it fit Tanuma just right. She pulled out the last pin and started to mark the fabric for her sewing.

 

“You can't go to the summer festival not dressed in a yukata!” Touko laughed with such a brightness Natsume couldn't help but smile at her for it. It was so kind for her to do, it could make Natsume cry if he really thought about it. He had never had someone gift so much to him as the Fujiwara's had. 

 

“Takashi! Here!” Came Touko's delighted cry. She held up a new fabric, a lilac yukata with breathtaking dark purple embroidery. She was quick to gently press the smooth fabric into Natsume's hands- ever so careful to not push or force him. With ever so gentle hands she helped sweep the fabric over Natsume's shoulders and ever the tender woman; slid Natsume's arms into place delicately. 

 

Then she started mimicking what she did to Tanuma, poking and prodding and pinning the fabric into place, marking the areas and ever so lovingly removed the fabric again to start sewing. 

 

“Touko I- You didn’t-”  Natsume started,

 

“Nonsense! You have to be dressed up for the Summer Festival!” Touko cheered as Shigeru turned a page in his book, 

“There’s no point trying to get her to stop.” He smiled without looking up, continuing to read his story. Tanuma looked over at Natsume with an embarrassed glance, neither knowing how to thank Touko for what she had done. Despite their fidgeting, she continued to sew up the fabric by hand and fixing any discrepancies. With a final flourish she flung up the fabric to look it over and smiled as she gently handed over the yukatas to the two boys. 

 

“Go on and get ready dears!” She laughed as she shuffled the two boys out. Natsume stumbled out and hugged his lilac colored yukata to his chest. Natsume looked up at Tanuma with alight cheeks and they found themselves chuckling. Each heading their way to get properly dressed. 

 

By the time Tanuma pulled on his yukata and tightened it Natsume was already waiting outside for him. He hadn’t noticed him yet and the warm lighting of the sun setting seemed to set his hair ablaze, like molten gold stringing itself from his head and fluttering from his eyes. The Lilac color was a perfect compliment to Natsume’s golden hair- he looked so...breathtaking in that view; Nyanko-sensei in his arms as usual. When he turned his hair fanned out so lightly and Tanuma could see the strands run over each other- showing how thin and silky they really were. 

 

“Hey...You ready?” Tanuma asked softly scratching the back of his neck- his hair was getting longer and it kept scratching him, he would probably cut it again. 

 

Natsume smiled so sweetly as he nodded, getting up to follow Tanuma out. Nyanko-sensei was adamant to come for the food, in fact he demanded it; there was no way to argue him out of it. So as they walked down the path towards the festival they were subjected to an onslaughts of ‘hurry up!’s, ‘there'll be no food left!’s, and ‘I want this!’s. Tanuma didn't mind so much it was enough to fill the void of awkward silence that was passing between them. The same could not be said about Natsume, who was slowly seething with annoyance. 

 

By the time they reached the steps leading to the festival Natsume dropped Nyanko-sensei onto the ground, promptly bought him food and told him to leave. 

 

And with a huff and a raised eyebrow Nyanko-sensei was gone, and Natsume and Tanuma were suddenly by themselves in the crowd. The sun was finally slipping past the hills and the warm orange was bathing the whole festival in this glow of wonder. Neither boy knew what they wanted to do right away so they found themselves picking up some takoyaki and sitting side by side on a small bench and ate. It was pretty crowded and both of them didn't really do crowds well. But despite the isolation it was quite lovely - the sun was just barely peeking above the mountains in the distance and the rays of the light were slowly fading away to the starry sky above. The Lanterns were starting to glow stronger as the light disappeared and with it the sparklers and vendors seemed to become more alive. The night seemed way more exquisite now that the sun had gone to bed. Tanuma stood up and held out his hand to help Natsume up. 

 

“Come on...let’s enjoy the night before the fireworks go off!”

 

With a tug Natsume was up stumbling after the dark haired boy and had his own hand clasped into Tanuma’s. It wasn’t long after that Natsume found himself playing festival games with his best friend. One after another and Tanuma and Natsume found themselves giggling like they never had before. Like little children giggling over a secret only they knew- except said secret was their companionship and newfound love for each other. It was so much that it was enough to make Natsume feel light headed and want to jump in excitement; for once not wanting to run from the heat Tanuma caused, no longer tethered down or clinging by Tanuma’s hand but rather uplifted by his hand. For once the heat wasn’t overwhelming but comfortable in its presence. 

 

Then the fireworks were due to start. The crowds were moving ever so slowly towards the fields for better views when Tanuma started tugging Natsume up the steps. Natsume knew the path without a word, they were heading to the same spot as before- the one where they had watched the fireworks and Natsume had not been able to witness their glow in the dark sky. 

 

A second chance Natsume realized, that’s what this was. 

 

Just a few more steps and suddenly both of them were stumbling into the clearing that Tanuma had found months ago. This time there was no youkai sitting there to watch the fireworks as well, just them. When Natsume sat down Tanuma couldn’t help but watch; Natsume was absolutely enchanting. His golden hair no longer looked gold- as if the color had left with the sunlight, leaving behind a silver that was simply breathtaking. His eyes two were no longer that golden brown but against the moonlight it shined an emerald. His pupils were still so cat like in appearance that in that moment Tanuma was almost convinced Natsume wasn’t human. No human could look so captivating, and the new silver and green appearance under the moonlight was absolutely other wordly. 

 

Tanuma couldn’t help but wonder if maybe the reason Natsume was so attuned to the other world was due to the fact he was apart of it. Natsume turned away from the shine of the moonlight and faced Tanuma with the brightest smile he had ever witnessed from the other boy and suddenly the silver and green didn’t matter so much anymore, for when Natsume turned his eyes shimmered back to his familiar golden brown and Tanuma was entranced into sitting down beside the other boy. He opened his mouth to speak; Tanuma wasn’t sure to say what but yet he found himself opening his mouth to utter  _ something.  _  When the first whistle rang up over the hills and the loud bang that accompanied it took both boy’s eyes away from each other. The resulting crackle and fizzle was absolutely delightful to listen to when Natsume slowly strung his fingers between Tanuma’s. His hands were cold from the night air and his eyes were trained on the sky above. 

 

That’s right….Natsume hadn’t gotten to see the fireworks before...this was his first time. And he looked enraptured by the displays above. The colorful fireworks glistened off his now silvery hair and made it alight with color- and when he turned to Tanuma his smile was beyond elated. Tanuma couldn’t help mirroring his own smile back, this was worth everything, one of the happiest moments in Tanuma’s life. Natsume had never looked so peaceful and free of fear. 

 

Anytime Tanuma saw Natsume he was always on edge, always prepared, his eyes always fluttering to the corners of the rooms, warding against the unseen. Even in sleep, his limbs were not relaxed and his eyebrows were furrowed from nightmares within, something Tanuma couldn’t fight or protect his soulmate from. He was always strung out, his fight or flight response always enacted. But for once... **it wasn’t.**

 

Natsume was relaxed. 

 

There was no horror waiting amongst the dark, there was no awful memories sinking in, only the warmth of their hands and the dancing lights above. 

 

And so when Natsume turned to smile again at Tanuma, Tanuma couldn’t help but surge forward and capture that’s smile with his own. 

 

It wasn’t an amazing kiss, it anything it was just a press of lips that was as quickly over as it had started. But it didn’t matter how insignificant amount of time it took, it was enough to rock both of their worlds over. Natsume was frozen and Tanuma was ablaze in embarrassment, he had been so caught in the moment that he hadn’t even thou-

 

But it didn’t matter anymore because now his lips were being hesitantly pressed against in response. Natsume was leaned over on his hands and when he pulled away he ducked his head back down at his lap. His cheeks also red but that was enough, it was more than enough….this was the best day Tanuma had decided.

 

Just the two kisses didn’t seem enough though not when both were taken when the other boy wasn’t prepared. And so Tanuma brought a hand up and lightly lifted Natsume’s chin up and despite how stubborn Natsume usually was he did raise his eyes up to meet Tanuma’s. And seeing his glimmering golden green eyes flutter shut was enough to make Tanuma want to melt. His golden brown eyelashes now the silvery strands in the moonlight and Tanuma was lost. A soft pressing of lips, but this time not tightly closed mouthed, this time relaxed and simple and the whizzing fireworks faded away when Tanuma too closed his eyes to kiss Natsume. This kiss felt so much longer than the previous two. Despite being about the same amount of length long when they pulled away so gently as if the very action of moving too quickly could break the fragile environment. Natsume’s eyes shuttered open and the dusting blush along his cheeks had never looked so lovely before. And suddenly they were laughing again. 

 

Giggling amongst themselves and Natsume crashing into Tanuma’s side as their laughter took over, the tension fizzling away as another firework boomed above. It was just so cliche, kissing at the summer festival fireworks show, it was like every romance story Tanuma had had to sit through, and he could easily say a couple ones Natsume had to sit through to see Natori’s work. 

 

But in this moment it was perfect, and their laughter finally died down as the fireworks did. The heat from the summer air and the laughter and kiss was enough to make Tanuma sweaty- finding himself unconsciously tying up his hair to let some breeze brush against his neck. 

 

And there was that piece of skin again, that Natsume loved to look at so much. The small ponytail looked regal at the back of Tanuma’s head, so much so that Natsume wanted to reach out and touch that skin all over again. 

 

Instead he let his wandering hands clutch onto Tanuma’s as they headed down the mountain. Knowing it was time to head back to their respective homes. When they landed back to the festival the vendors were closing up their booths and the lanterns being blown out. And there amongst the crowds of people leaving was one...not so lucky fat cat: Nyanko-sensei. Who looked absolutely peeved at the fact he was alone waiting for two giggly teens. 

 

“OI! Brat what took you so long!” Nyanko-sensei huffed out in annoyance, turning tail pointedly ignoring the fact the two boys were still so close together, small mercies. Natsume didn’t think he could handle more teasing from his bodyguard for the day. As they walked behind Nyanko-sensei it was nice to be walking hand and hand in the cold air. Neither speaking words just keeping pace with each other, up until they hit the fork in the road. To go their separate ways. Natsume glanced down his path and looked at Tanuma with a smile knowing that they would actually have to split for the night. 

 

But that was okay- the day alone had enough memories to last them until they met again. Natsume lightly ran his fingers against that exposed skin and smiled when the result of his actions was the red of Tanuma’s cheeks but this time Natsume felt bold. Bolder than he ever had before. Pulling on the taller boy’s neck he managed to capture another kiss at that split in the road. Not noticing the huff of his cat, or the way Tanuma’s own hands gripped tight at his shoulders. Just completely enthralled by the action of kissing the one person who he would love forever. And if the kiss was slightly more open than before enough for Natsume to just barely feel Tanuma’s tongue brush against him...well that wasn’t anyone’s business. And when they pulled away Natsume smiled back with a laugh at Tanuma’s gobsmacked face.  

 

“Bye Tanuma” He whispered into the air as he stepped back.

 

“By Natsume” Was the breathless reply. 

  
  


And slowly they walked their different paths home, warmed by the love they had for each other. 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you everyone who commented- let me know what you think! 
> 
> Also I only update this by demand, if you want more let me know!
> 
> Thank you for reading!!


	4. The Futue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: WILL BE LONG, BUCKLE UP  
> Wow this one got a little away from me, but its extra long. This one was less romantic and about the future I have set up for them.
> 
> Thank you again to everyone who read and commented!! Hope you enjoy it!

It wasn’t odd to find Tanuma at Natsume’s house, what was odd was when it was switched. Not that Tanuma’s home was bad or anything, it just happened to be dead center of the dog’s circle territory, and well...Natsume wanted to be alone with Tanuma, not being harrassed by overzealous youkai. But sometime they found themselves there laying side by side on Tanuma’s floor and watch the spirit pond reflect off his ceiling. Usually someone would move a hand into the other as youkai koi fish shadows flitted across the ceiling. It was always peaceful.

 

But something about Tanuma’s home really felt off sometimes. As if Natsume wasn’t terribly welcome, not that, that couldn’t just be apart of his imagination-but something- some form of energy seemed to whisper to Natsume his undesirable presence. Natsume usually pushed through though, just to see Tanuma, anything was worth seeing Tanuma. It had been a while since that first date at the summer festival, and things were good.

 

Well...more than good, but Natsume was always cautious in case of jinxing himself. This right here, this warmth, this hand holding, it was too good to risk. But sometimes...something nagged in the back of Natsume’s mind that something just wasn’t...well the word wasn’t right, but it wasn’t wrong either. Off. Something was just..off. It had been occuring more often as of late, appearing when he was with Kitamoto or even Nishimura. A constant niggling in the back of his mind pestering him about how he had been uninvited.

 

But instead of dwelling he curled himself into Tanuma’s side, chasing the warmth of someone he loved.

“Natsume?” Tanuma whispered softly but the other boy didn’t answer, simply opting to curl in further. Tanuma could easily recognize when Natsume was overrun with conflicting thoughts. Before he used to smile something brittle, his eyes never lifting off the ground but as time moved on Tanuma watched as Natsume’s new path was to curl in and hide into Tanuma.

 

It never ceased to worry Tanuma when Natsume acted in such a way. He knew that it meant something was haunting Natsume- maybe not the youkai but the past lingering in his mind. Never letting Natsume find rest. And it wasn’t fair! Tanuma couldn’t even comprehend- soulmate or not- why someone could treat another being the way Natsume had been treated.

 

Tanuma had never known the sign of abuse before Natsume.

 

He slowly raised his hand up petting Natsume’s soft and thin hair. So, so delicate, just like the boy the hair belonged to.

 

They had met in total almost a year now, and teachers had started pushing students to start thinking about their future careers. It wasn’t necessarily mandatory or anything, just one of those, ‘you should start thinking about it’ tasks.

 

Tanuma for the longest time had thought he would follow after his father’s footsteps...well without the bald head of course- but now..now things were different. Now Tanuma could see what children without homes became, and it was rough to think but Natsume was a lucky one. Lucky to have found- or well, to have the Fujiwara’s find him. Others...well they were never that lucky; and the thought of Natsume being one of those people...Tanuma didn’t want to imagine.

Now Tanuma knew what he wanted to do as a career, he wanted to make sure his life was dedicated to making sure other people who were just as gentle and perfect as Natsume were never beaten down like he had been.

 

He hadn’t mentioned it to anyone yet, and well, he didn’t even really know where to get started but he knew he wanted to make sure Natsume was safe and happy. Which had led to him learning protective sigils and protective wards from his father, and wasn’t that an embarrassing memory.

 

His father hadn’t asked but it was obvious who he was learning this for.

 

But the worst part of thinking of the future was Natsume’s face when everyone started talking about it. How he froze up and clenched his hands so tightly together Tanuma could see the crescent marks of his nails embedding into his skin.

 

Tanuma didn’t have to ask to know what Natsume was scared of thinking of the future...he didn’t want to leave, he felt at peace here and Tanuma knew that Natsume was still waiting for it all to end. It was awful to witness.

 

Yes, watching Natsume flinch back from when people raised their arms, or jump away from loud noises, unconsciously cover his throat when others gave him a hug was more than difficult. But nothing...nothing beat watching Natsume lose all hope for his future, stock still like a statue in that classroom. Because to Natsume...he had no future, he had nothing to give, he had no future prospects and Tanuma knew he was lost with that thought.

 

It infuriated Tanuma to know people had done this to Natsume, had made him think he was nothing more than a waste of space.

 

Tanuma knew if he ever met said people- said _family members_ he wouldn’t be so kind.

 

So he let his cheek rest on Natsume’s head and then slowly untangled himself to get up. The soft noise that Natsume made as he was moved was enough to make Tanuma’s heart melt. He couldn’t move now! Not when Natsume’s eyes fluttered shut so beautifully and he curled up like a stray cat.

 

Tanuma couldn’t help but brush that ever so soft hair away from his forehead. Tanuma knew what he wanted to do with his life, and who he wanted in his life.

 

But most of all...he wanted to make sure Natsume knew what he wanted to do in the future as well, and make sure he was protected in that future.

 

It was dangerous but...Tanuma knew if he wanted to live with Natsume he needed to know a way to protect Natsume when his sight couldn’t.

* * *

  
  


Natsume was quite frankly frightened by the future. It wasn’t something he could just plan out, it never had been. In fact he had been convinced he wouldn’t have even made it this far in his life, with the way he was approached by the youkai and well..the way he seemed to take everyone’s love away.

 

Natsume knew that, that was a bit irrational, the Fujiwara’s had more than proven that they wouldn’t run out of love. The way Touko laid down beside Natsume and stroked his hair softly when he was ill, or how Shigeru made sure to keep his distance during Natsume’s panic attacks.

 

They were both so _so_ kind. So loving, and Natsume feared the day he would outlive that kindness. When it came time for him to leave, and it was sooner than he ever thought it would be…

 

He knew he had Tanuma, and Tanuma had sworn he would never leave Natsume but the fear was still there, always there, pressing Natsume’s chest into a tight ball, and dousing him in ice, making his insides feel cold, and his body not his own. Natsume hated when that happened. When he be so incomprehensibly self aware of his own skin and existence he tried to ignore it, but he mostly found himself latching onto Nyanko sensei for a tether.

 

Natsume would never call himself brave, when he was scared and so desperately crushed by his own mind, and when touch became so much more threatening, he was never brave enough to reach out. Never brave enough to tell others about the whispers of unwant. He had felt love with Tanuma, love with the Fujiwaras, love with Nishimura and Kitamoto and Taki...All of them had been so absolutely wonderful. Natsume couldn’t help but wonder what had he done to deserve such kindness.

 

And there was still his future; it wasn’t imminent, he was just meant to start thinking about his future and honestly..what could he say? Exorcist? He didn’t want to be an exorcist. He wanted to stay here, he wanted to be with the Fujiwara’s for however long as they would allow it. But he wasn’t sure how much that was. He wished in someway that he had been picked up by the Fujiwara’s earlier. That he could’ve been with them the whole time, so he never had to learn to flinch away from raised hands or to have quickened breathes at loud bangs.

 

But he couldn’t undo the life he had lived and in one way he wanted to never change the world he had built up now, with his friends and family and...well his love now. But his future...it was something that he was terrified by. They had told him in class to think about what he wanted to do and he didn't have a clue. Not one...what he _really_ wanted beyond anything else was to stay put, to freeze time and live his days in peace here. Although that wasn’t an option. He wanted to stay with Tanuma...that was for sure, but as a job? What could he possibly want? Did he want to be an actor like Natori? No... _no way_! Natsume hated crowds, and he had seen how Natori got swarmed...it wasn’t ideal. An Exorcist- all he could think about was Matoba and that was...despicable.

 

He couldn’t think of what he could possibly wanted as a career future. He never thought forward, but now he was being pushed to, and he didn’t know what it was he wanted. He knew whatever Tanuma wanted to go he would follow, even if it hurt to leave the Fujiwara’s behind. He couldn’t leave Tanuma’s side; he didn’t want to.

 

So that’s how Natsume found himself laying down in his room pondering. He didn’t know what to do...did he want to be a normal business man like Shigeru was? No...that wouldn’t work, the youkai wouldn’t leave him alone just like that. Nyanko Sensei slowly curled up on his side, and huffed loudly.

 

“If you keep thinking so loudly you’re going to hurt yourself.” Came the gruff voice of Nyanko Sensei.

 

Natsume couldn’t help the loud sigh and rolled over away from his companion.

 

“You’re still thinking about the future aren’t you.” It wasn’t a question. Natsume knew Nyanko sensei wasn’t questioning, it was a fact and Natsume stayed silent in response.

 

“It isn’t that hard to think about, you humans are so cumbersome.” Natsume sighed and rolled over to eye his sensei. He looked peaceful and Natsume guessed it wasn’t hard to think of the future if you were a youkai. Not when Nyanko Sensei could rest peacefully as a cat for the rest of his days.

 

_But what about the rest of the youkai?_

 

What did they want in the future? Natsume found himself thinking back on the little fox spirit that had held Natsume’s hand so tight as they walked through the festival. His dream for the future was to just be brave and strong…

 

Then there was Tama...Natsume could understand him. He had wanted to stay put, stay as a small child so that he didn’t have to leave and Natsume also wanted to stay with the Fujiwara’s but...Tama had hurt himself in trying to stay the same. Was Natsume doing the same?

 

What had Hiiragi wanted for her future? Hadn’t she wanted to just be free? To see Natori safe? Was that all she ever wanted in her life? Surely there had to be more...but maybe all youkai were simple like that…just like the Dew God had only wanted his name back before he passed on and the girl...the girl that had worshipped him..what...what had her name been? Natsume couldn’t remember it. It had been a while ago and he was losing the details. He could barely remember what her face had looked like- her only defining factor in his mind her umbrella and peaches.

 

“Hey Nyanko Sensei...do you remember the name of that woman that had worshipped the Dew God?” Natsume watched as Nyanko Sensei’s ear twitched in response to his question and he cracked an eye open.

 

“How am I supposed to remember.” Nyanko gruffed out and closed his eyes to return to his nap. But it bugged Natsume. He _wanted_ to remember. That woman had been apart of the Dew God’s story, and Natsume couldn’t remember her name? How was that fair?

 

“I...forgot her name.” Natsume whispered out loud rolling back to his back and scowling at the ceiling. How could he have forgotten? The Dew God had seen her as precious and Natsume couldn’t forgive himself for just forgetting her. He heard Nyanko huff out and stretch out as he got back up. He eyed Natsume and in the corner of his eyes Natsume could see the glinting emerald sharp eyes. What had it been….what had her name been? What _else was Natsume forgetting?_ How could he know if he forgot it?

 

“You know...humans write things down so they don’t forget things.” Nyanko sensei stated as he started to walk out of Natsume’s room. Natsume blinked as he turned to watch the fat cat waddle out. Nyanko sensei threw a look over his shoulder.

“Maybe you should write out the stories of the name’s you hold if you really feel so bad about forgetting them.” And then he was gone.

 

Natsume froze in Nyanko sensei’s absence. Suddenly Natsume jumped up looking at his open door. That was it! That was what Natsume had wanted to do from the beginning! He had wanted to remember his grandmother’s path, but not only that but all the youkai he came across in his life. He needed to write them down- everything, everything he needed to write down, he never wanted to forget a person again. Not a single being. He knew what it felt like to be forgotten, and he never wanted that for anyone else.

 

Standing up Natsume looked over at the Book of Friends; he had already given back so many names already. He needed to remember those names, and their stories. They deserved to be loved just like so many of them had wanted, to be needed and cared for; to be friends. Natsume was going to make sure that they were. He lightly stroked the cover of his heritage, the Book of Friends...Natsume wanted to make sure they were never forgotten, and neither was his grandmother.

 

Natsume looked over at his own journals, pulling open several to see if they were empty, he didn’t have a nice journal to write in, all were accounted for, for his classes. Natsume sighed at that...but he would eventually get to it he promised to himself.

 

Standing up Natsume walked downstairs to see Touko cutting carrots at the counter. She looked up to see Natsume and her smile could make Natsume cry.

 

“Hello Takashi!” She was always so kind and Natsume loved it, so unused to hearing his first name spoken with so much care.  

 

“Hello Touko.” He found himself sitting down at the kitchen table and watching her work. He glanced down to her wrist and couldn’t help the smile on his face as he remembered seeing her 00:00:00 for the first time. He didn’t know it but Touko was smiled back in response at Natsume’s lightly dusted pink cheeks and content smile. It was rare to have such a gently calm expression on his face and Touko would happily do anything for Natsume to feel safe.

 

“Touko...do you happen to have any empty notebooks I could use?” Natsume asked hesitantly, feeling shaky with his own question. He wondered if he shouldn’t have asked...maybe he should have kept quiet and just went to buy a new notebook after school tomorrow. But Touko’s smile was gentle as she placed her knife back down on the cutting board.

 

“Well let’s see!” She sing songed as she wiped her hands off on her apron. Untying her apron and lightly draping it over the chair next to Natsume she started to head out of the kitchen. Natsume was quick to follow but every step was slow and tedious; always afraid to get too close.

When Touko kneeled down elegantly and pulled her closet door open to search through a multitude of items, Natsume didn’t know what to say. Always so giving and kind...Natsume wanted others to know how kind these two were as well...Natsume wanted to write about all the love he had experienced from the Fujiwara’s as well. And there it was a pale purple notebook that papers were also slightly tinted in a blue. But it looked...expensive, to nice for Natsume to take.

 

“Here Takashi!” She smiled ever so pleasantly as she handed over the notebook as if it was _nothing._ And maybe to her it was...but Natsume couldn’t take this.

 

“Oh Touko...this- thank you, but this is too much.” He whispered gently gifting the notebook back, handling the notebook as if itself was glass.

 

“Nonsense, I have many others, besides I want you to have it” _you deserve it,_ went unsaid.

  


Natsume slowly pulled the notebook back and stared at the small but clearly more expensive notebook, the cover was hard and the spine was bounded. With a gentle smile and-to Natsume’s even greater surprise- a kiss to his cheek Touko was walking away to return to her food. Natsume froze at the kiss and slowly lifted a hand to his cheek were the warmth felt almost scorching now. How tender she had been, and how giving she was.

 

It wasn’t a surprise when the tears started falling, he was lucky Touko wasn’t there to watch. But there was Nyanko Sensei, suddenly at his side, never comforting, just sitting letting Natsume know he wasn’t alone, and Natsume knew that’s what he wanted to write down. He wanted to write down the lives of the youkai and the people he knew, he never wanted to forget any of this, even the harder times, since they made all of good seem so much sweeter. With a loud sniffle and a quick swipe at his eyes and Natsume clutched the book to his chest. Slowly peeking into the kitchen he offered a small thank you before stumbling his way back upstairs to his room to write it all down. Everything, no matter how insignificant, he wanted to make sure he remembered.

* * *

  


Come that next Monday Natsume had been writing in his new journal nonstop. Everything he could remember was being placed down in that journal. Being separated by the names of those youkai the stories were revolved around. He never wrote it out like they had, despite knowing their language, it would only read as scribbles if he had. He wanted to make sure he knew their names. He wrote about the Dew God and Hana - the old woman who had worshipped him, he had remembered, and he wrote about Tama, and the young fox spirit. He wrote about Hiiragi and the little boy who had helped her once (Natori). He found himself writing at every break he could in his class, and when PE came around and he was told to sit on the side since he had to many black outs recently he happily pulled out the lilac journal and write down what he could recall.

 

He found himself writing even during class instead of nodding off like usual. It wasn’t that surprising when Nishimura tried to snatch it away to see what it was he was writing, but Kitamoto was even quicker to snatch his friend’s hand. Even Sasada had scared away some of the other students who were trying to catch some words. He wrote during lunch and Tanuma- ever so delightful- respected Natsume’s privacy and left him to his writing, never once inquiring what it was he was putting so much time and effort into.

 

Although he was absolutely perfect when he realized Natsume hadn’t touched his food and started to lift up food for Natsume to eat. While that would have been embarrassing, Natsume was so caught in his writing to notice the wide smiles and laughter coming from his friends.

 

Of course he stopped when class was over and he and Tanuma walked home, and when they split their paths Natsume was already thinking about which story to get to next in his journal. By the time he was kneeled down at his desk already finished with his homework and pouring over his journal it was clear he had almost filled half of the journal up.

 

He found writing everything out felt so much better than to let the stories sit in himself. Everything he hadn’t been able to share with his friends and family, with the Fujiwara’s and with his classmates. It felt almost relieving to be able to let it out. He knew he had caused quite a curiosity with what he was always writing, but he didn’t mind so much. It was therapeutic to have everything written out and out of his head.

 

Despite it being Nyanko sensei’s idea, he still huffed and puffed over the idea of Natsume writing about youkai. Natsume laughed at the old cat, he knew secretly Nyanko was glad that Natsume had listened to his advice- on the rare occasions he did.

 

So while he groaned, he never outright yelled about Natsume writing out his experiences. Even Touko seemed pleased with his new hobby, her and Shigeru were always keeping a distance but it was clear they were subconsciously trying to catch a few words in his journal.

 

By the next day Tanuma had started to have less time to hang out with Natsume. But rather than feel insecure and worried he found himself pleasantly occupied with his journal writing, and it never was too bad, Tanuma always made sure to see Natsume off before he left on his way; always passing with a swift kiss to Natsume’s cheek which was enough to get both boys red, it was wonderful.

 

In the end, Tanuma ended up running off for the whole week and weekend and Natsume found himself slightly concerned, but Nyanko sensei- for once- had good advice to not worry; he was his soulmate. And he was right, Tanuma _was_ his soulmate, he had nothing to worry about.

 

So he kept writing in his journal and by the time he was on the last ten pages of his journal he found 4 brand new journals all matching the first stacked on his desk, freshly bought and placed with the utmost care. Natsume was quick to run down and thank Touko for her gift. And if he cried when she hugged him tight and stroked his back, well she never commented on it. Natsume was glad that he still was somewhat of comparable height to Touko, her hugs still feeling so warm and big despite her size.

 

And when Shigeru came in that night with brand new nice ink pens, Natsume didn’t know what to say. That was one of the first times Natsume had hugged Shigeru by himself, without a flinch, or worry, just knowing this man was family and loved him just as much as Touko did.

  


The next monday, Tanuma looked tired, but he still was all smiles and blushed embarrassment when he whispered he missed Natsume over the weekend. It was enough to cause Natsume to want to run away again, but he smiled back and agreed.

 

They held hands in compensation until they reached their classes. Natsume sat down happily and when he pulled out his maths booklets he was happy to pull out his journal as well. Natsume made sure to write in the his journal discreetly and even found himself sketching some of the youkai’s into the margins of the pages. It was never perfect, but it was enough to get his memory jogged in case his words weren’t sufficient. He didn’t know that when they were meant to change and head out for their daily exercise he hadn’t packed away his journal, leaving it undefended on his desk.

 

But he did know something was up when everyone was meant to be heading out to lunch and his teacher had called for him to follow him into the teacher’s office.

 

Natsume felt sick when those words were uttered, even though his teacher had smiled, Natsume could see his almost filled lilac journal pinned between his hands. He pushed his glasses up and when Nishimura waved him goodbye pitifully Natsume felt his stomach plummet.

 

It wasn’t that Natsume hadn’t been called to the offices before. In fact it had happened more than Natsume could count, how many times he had been called in for disciplinary reasons, or to find out his caretakers were having him move on. _Was that what this was?!_ _Was that why the Fujiwara’s had been gifting him with so much, to make it easier?!_

 

Natsume didn’t want this to happen, but in some horrible way he was surprised, he thought... _he thought_ …

 

“Natsume...are you okay?” Natsume looked up into the dark grey eyes of his teacher and gulped and nodded, crunching himself up into his seat as Kawamoto-san looked hesitant to continue. He lightly picked up Natsume’s journal and _oh god...he saw..he read! He thought Natsume was a liar!_

 

“Have you thought about your future career Natsume?” Came Kawamoto-san’s voice. His hands gently closed the book and he looked over at Natsume. _What?_ Natsume tilted his head in confusion, and then smacked his mouth open then closed. Natsume found himself blinking rapidly and then slowly shook his head...he had been thinking about it but he never really landed on an answer, only that he had wanted to write down what he had experienced, and the lives of the youkai he had met along the way.

 

“No...sir I haven’t.” Natsume whispered, his leg bouncing in place, his hands shaking, so he sat on them. Kawamoto watched Natsume carefully over his glasses and then smiled.

 

“Natsume, there’s no reason for you to be worried, you are not in trouble.” Natsume froze again.

“Oh…”  was all he was able to utter out, sliding his hands out from under himself and clasping at his shirt.

 

“Natsume I just happened to read a little of your stories here, and I must say, they are...incredible.” He smiled warmly and it was enough to make Natsume buzz with an unknown emotion...maybe it was relief.

“Incredible…?” was the only thing Natsume could vocalize in his disbelief.

 

“Yes! Quite!” Kawamoto-san smiled and he flipped the book open to look over the pages Natsume had filled up. His fingers stroked the words on the page and he looked..forlorn?

 

“For example this story you have, titled Shigure.” His face was so melancholic but still happy as he spoke, “About the young fortune god that was tricked by a greedy merchant to become an evil spirit. Only to find love and acceptance again in his own heart by a young school girl who lost a lucky charm.” He looked Natsume in the eye and he was surprised to see tears in Kawamoto’s eyes.

 

“It’s dreadfully sad, and yet lovely.” He smiled and he flipped the pages again and Natsume didn’t know what to say. He watched as his teacher flipped to a familiar page Natsume had gladly poured over; Tama.

 

“You’re grammar is needing, but these are absolutely exquisite and erapturing.” He then flipped over to the Dog’s Circle.

 

“You’ve even managed to create genuine fear in this one.” He smiled, and then flipped to the dreaded Matoba section, and he glanced up, “You have great diversity in your stories, I’d like to consider putting your stories forward into a writing contest?” Kawamoto offered closing the book, and slowly handed the book back into Natsume’s own palms. The weight of the book suddenly felt so much heavier in his hands now, bearing the weight of everything his teacher had exclaimed. Kawamoto lifted his glasses back up and turned to his desk and started writing.

 

“I want to push you towards a better future Natsume, I know you had a rough beginning, but I see you thriving here, and I want you to push your talents.” Kawamoto clapped his hands as he started to write something out in a paper.

 

Natsume didn’t know what to say, but it was more than any other teacher had ever done for him. More than any teacher had cared to do for him. But he smiled and held out a stack of blank papers.

 

“I’d like you to pick your best story and put it here, I’ll review the story’s grammar and make sure it’s all ready for it to be submitted.” He smiled as Natsume blankly took the papers in his hands, it was quite a heavy bunch of papers and when coupled with his journal he felt more than weighed down.

 

“No reason to write a new story all of these are beyond perfect to use but if you feel so, that would be perfectly fine” Natsume didn’t know what to say as Kawamoto wrote another slip, and passed it to Natsume as well.

 

“Well, why don’t you go enjoy your lunch Natsume.” He fixed his glasses and Natsume simply nodded, clutching the new papers and his journal to his chest as he bowed and left. Completely frozen as he slowly walked out of the offices, slowly heading to where he knew his friends would sit. Glancing down at his timer, he still seemed to be in shock as he took the steps up to the roof where he knew Kitamoto and Nishimura would be, and most of all where Tanuma would be.

 

And sure enough there they were, and so were Sasada and Taki. He paused as the others all turned towards him.

 

“Natsume!” Nishimura screeched and jumped up, Kitamoto scrambling to catch his melon bread from falling to the ground. Before Natsume could even blink Nishimura was hopping up at him, catching his biceps and shaking him roughly.

“Are you in trouble! What was that about!” Natsume found himself blinking and suddenly Nishimura was pulled away and there was Sasada yelling at Nishimura for his overactive reaction, everyone knew to not jump at Natsume, he was already twitchy as it was.

 

But there was Tanuma and Taki, oh so gently asking questions and seeing if he was okay.

Natsume blinked and slowly sat down and everyone seemed paused in the moment.

“Natsume? You okay?” Taki asked so softly, and Natsume furrowed his eyebrows and slowly nodded.

 

“...yeah..it's...Kawamoto-san just wanted to have me enter into some...contest?”

 

“Contest?” Tanuma questioned and Sasda released Nishimura to also scoot closer.

“Uhh yeah...it's some writing contest?” Natsume offered slowly showing off the papers in his arms.

 

“Oh!” Sasada exclaimed, “you're going to join the publishing contest! That's amazing!”

 

Natsume looked up surprised as did everyone else. Tanuma smiled a hesitant wide smile, as if he wasn't sure if he should be happy.

 

“I guess so...I don't know if it will go anywhere.” Natsume whispered shrinking back a bit but Tanuma's grin ignited on his face.

 

“Natsume! That's great!” Tanuma cried out, beaming at Natsume and that was enough to make his cheeks upturn in response.

 

“I suppose,” Natsume started but Nishimura instantly jumped back in.

“Is that what you've been writing nonstop?” Nishimura questioned, peering over into Natsume's arms, glancing at his lilac journey he had latched onto as badly as his book of friends.

 

“Yeah...its just something small I've been doing to pass the time.” Natsume tried to explain but there they all were with such kind smiles all around and Natsume knew he had support...maybe...maybe he did know what he wanted to do for the future.

* * *

  


When it came down to it, Tanuma didn't know if his father's blessings really worked. His main blessings were too...vague. Tanuma only wanted to keep the youkai that wanted to cause harm out, not the ones that were Natsume's friends. Even Tanuma had met a few of them and they were his close friends, and Natsume needed all the support he could get.

 

So the priest approach his father used wasn't going to work.

 

Tanuma's second attempt to find a way to keep Natsume safe was through Natori. And that was hard work to do...he had had to leave almost immediately to places he had heard rumors that he would be shooting at. He ended up lucky by chance and when he called out to Natori...well thankfully Natori remembered Tanuma. He had smirked an almost unpleasant way when Tanuma had asked for his help.

 

Natori felt very reminiscent of what Tanuma imagined a big brother would act like if one was dating his younger sibling. And maybe that was the situation with how much Natori adored Natsume.

 

But when Tanuma explained why he wanted to learn how to keep the dangerous and harmful youkai at bay, his face softened and the way his eyebrows upturned was enough to show he wasn't angry.

 

It was hard work honestly-even if Natori was happy to teach Tanuma. Even if Tanuma did manage to replicate Natori's words and symbols on the pages (and he only got it perfect about four out of the ten times), Tanuma's spiritual energy was so weak it basically did nothing.

 

So while Tanuma- somewhat- knew how to make protective sigils to keep Natsume safe, he was too weak to make anything really substantial.

 

It started with glasses; that was the first step. They felt weird on his face and bulky, they weren't a perfect fit but Natori made sure to have a nice lady fit them to his face better. In all honesty it didn't help too well in him seeing youkai, before they were shadows and blurs; now they were colored smudges and shapes, as if he was looking through a rainy window pane.

 

It almost hurt his eyes to really look through. Natori had taken some notes down when Tanuma had explained his experience and then took the glasses back. Tanuma had thought that would be the end of it, but then Natori had called him up the next day to come visit him (and how he got his family phone number? Tanuma would never know).

 

So Tanuma went, despite wanting to spend a day with Natsume instead. When he had showed up the glasses were tinted blue and when Tanuma slipped them on he suddenly could see a woman with a mask on with horns. He knew from her description this was Hiiragi, but he had never noticed how frightfully it could be at first. She was still tinged by blurs at the seams, but overall she looked solid and not terribly blurry.

 

“How did-” Tanuma had started,

 

“I know a thing or two to make it easier to see, as long as you have the gift for it.” Natori smiled, and winked at him, and Tanuma was unexpectedly reminded of how this man was a showman. He understood why Natsume was always so embarrassed and vocal around Natori, he had a way of drawing out a reaction. Tanuma nodded in thank you and with time he managed to keep a sigil active for fifteen minutes! (Which was a big deal for Tanuma- even if that was nothing to Natori or Natsume). Tanuma had been sent on his way on the last train home with the homework of trying to build up spiritual energy, which luckily Tanuma knew a way to do.

 

Tanuma knew his father was spiritually strong, Natsume had explained to him the story of how his father had been cleansing the fields. He knew his father held no sight, and had learned his spiritual strength. So by that thursday Tanuma sat with his father learning what it took to be a priest - as long as it meant not shaving his head! Tanuma sat on cross legged with his father and meditated. He sat as still as he could and waited, he wanted to make sure he could protect what was important to him. So Tanuma sat statuesque and completed prayers with his father.

 

It was surprisingly difficult to complete, Tanuma found himself wanting nod off during his meditation, or wanting to lay down when he was meant to be performing prayers. It was diligent work and Tanuma always thought himself reliable in his attempts, but found this type of study held a higher difficulty level than he had been expecting.

 

But Tanuma could be stubborn, and he held on as tight as he could to practicing, even if it made his legs sore, and his eyes burn from wearing the glasses. He wanted to be strong enough to be a source of stability for Natsume.

  


On Friday Tanuma didn’t eat lunch with Natsume or his friends, instead heading to the teacher’s office. Natsume was a little disappointed but he didn’t look too heart broken, with the way he was writing in that new mysterious lilac book of his.

 

Tanuma sat down with his teacher and discussed the possibility of taking on being a social worker for his career. His teacher looked quite surprised by Tanuma’s path and he learned it would take a lot of dedication and hard work, but Tanuma reassured her he was prepared for such a journey. He never explained to his teacher why he wanted to get into the foster care system, and he supposed in someway it wasn’t going to really explain much anyways. Natsume hadn’t really gone through the foster care system, from what Tanuma could gather he hadn’t even really had a social worker, just a child lost and shuffled around by family members. It wasn’t right and Tanuma wanted to find a way to make sure no one else had to feel as alone as Natsume had.

 

They discussed other possible avenues, and he agreed to look into the other options of being a teacher or guidance counselor instead. He knew he wanted to help kids, and either of the three options would work. He had been given a sufficient packet to look over and a multitude of resources to jump into, and with a thank you and a bow, Tanuma went on his way.

 

He hadn’t told Natsume about his plans, he didn’t want to scare Natsume, or make him feel guilty with Tanuma’s choice. Even as soulmates Natsume still held his distance when it came to his personal life. Of course Tanuma respected his decisions, Tanuma never _ever_ wanted to invade his privacy. But sometimes...it was absolutely heart wrenching to see how Natsume viewed others around him. As if Natsume was a weight, a burden, holding everyone back, when in reality he was usually the light in the sky that made everything better. So Tanuma decided to keep this to himself, and didn’t pester about Natsume’s new writing habit. Boundaries were important for a relationship- and that thought alone of thinking about the word relationship was enough to want to make Tanuma hide for a day or two. But Tanuma had things to do so instead of screeching and burying his head in sand, he simply took his packet and did the research he needed to make his choices in the future.

 

Overall his ultimate goal was to be able to be a social worker; to make sure kids were safe with a new home, but as time went on through his research, being a social worker had it’s own faults, and there was so many words about how the system was broken enough as it was. Tanuma needed to keep going on his research in order for him to have an answer, so when the weekend rolled around he didn’t go to see Natsume.

 

Instead sitting through everything he needed to get done to prepare for his future.

 

* * *

  


Natsume didn’t know where to start when he sat down and actually looked at the papers before him. None of the stories he wrote really felt as amazing as his teacher had proclaimed them to be. They were just stories of the ones he met or the ones he loved. To anyone else the stories would be something make believe, but to Natsume they were just memories...how could he simply select one to submit?

 

His teacher had told him to just pick one he thought was the best, and maybe that meant one that Natsume loved...perhaps a good memory? But all these stories were about others...other youkai, and not of Natsume’s. It almost felt wrong to use some youkai’s life story...not when Natsume hadn’t written his own. He wondered if he should write about how he had come to live with the Fujiwara’s...but that was a little too close to comfort, and Natsume still had nightmares about that well.

 

So that one was out...he tapped his new black ink pen against the paper waiting for something to hit. Maybe he should just use Tama’s story...that had been Natsume’s as well.

 

“Takashi?” Came the light voice of Touko at Natsume’s door. Natsume looked up surprised to see Touko with some mochi on a plate. She smiled as she stepped into the room and handed off the plate. One of the mochi balls already snatched away by Nyanko Sensei which only generated a laugh from Touko.

 

“Thank you Touko.” Natsume whispered softly feeling so relieved to see Touko after the day he had had with his teacher.

 

“What do you have there?” Touko asked ever so politely, gazing over at the blank pages on Natsume’s desk. Natsume gazed down at the pages, and he sighed...still as empty as ever.

 

“I was asked to write a story for a contest.” He finally admitted but the resounding clap and laughter of surprise from Touko made Natsume’s neck and ears become dipped in pink.

 

“Oh that’s wonderful Takashi! Do you know what you’re going to write?” She smiled and leaned over to stare into Natsume’s downturned eyes. Natsume cuked in his lips and shook his head and she _hmmed_ in response.

 

“Maybe you should step back for a bit, and help me with dinner?” Touko offered, “Stepping away can help clear your mind.” And she was an angel. Natsume couldn’t help the grin on his face as he nodded, stepping up with Touko, quick to stuff his mouth with the mochi Touko had made for him and easily followed Touko down the steps towards the kitchen.

 

And helping Touko cut away at vegetables and stir the sauce for their meal was the perfect distraction. Natsume loved the domestic feel of being with the Fujiwara’s. No matter what Natsume did the Fujiwara’s cared so much for him...the **loved** him and that was the greatest gift Natsume had ever received.

 

Of course it was completely lovely when Touko squeezed his forearm in thanks and kissed his forehead when dinner was ready. And when Shigeru came home, he had a wide smile at seeing Natsume in an apron next to his timed. It was so delightful that Natsume knew what he wanted to write.

 

That night he wrote down the name of the story first; Reiko.

* * *

  


It took about a week to write but when Natsume finished he was happy with the outcome. Although that didn’t mean he wasn’t nervous when Kawamoto-san was reading it. He was marking spots and correcting misspelling but for the most part his...editing was quite minimal. Natsume looked down at his own hands and waited for the verdict.

 

It was then that Natsume heard sniffling, looking up he watched as tears threatened to fall from his teacher’s eyelashes. When he finished he took of his glasses to wipe at his eyes and smile at Natsume.

 

“It’s a lovely story Natsume...absolutely lovely.” He reorganized the pages back into their rightful place.

  
“I do enjoy the idea of repaying the debt of the young girl Reiko, and how her grandson comes back to protect the family again, but are you sure you want to leave it where Reiko doesn’t find a happy ending?” Natsume tilted his head in question.

 

“Happy ending sir?”

 

“Well yes...you’ve left her to disappear and to not find a home with love, even noting her timer doesn't ding when she finds love. And yet you title the story after her?” Kawamoto questioned, lifting the pages back up.

 

Natsume blinked in surprise at that statement.

 

“Oh...well..it’s her story.” Natsume tried to explain.

 

“But is it? Sounds to me she isn't so much the main character as she is the instigator of the story. Is this not the grandson’s story? Or the young boy Shige?” Kawamoto questioned. Natsume thought about it and he supposed he was right. This was Shigeru’s story as well as his grandmother’s. He had been the young boy that was haunted, and his grandmother had destroyed his room with good intentions. And then Natsume, himself had found love and a home in that room. Was it not all of their stories.

 

“I see...I could change the title.” Natsume nodded, and Kawamoto smiled in response, looking back over the pages.  

 

“I’d like a little more backstory on the grandson, you’ve purposely left him nameless and while intriguing, I think he’s important to understand with the tie of these two families.” He critiqued and Natsume flinched...right...mor backstory on himself.

 

“Other than that...I think it’s absolutely perfection, one of your best, it has such good emotion throughout the story. Especially with the fear of the demon, keep it up and just add more on the grandson- give him a name, and give it a new title; something that really matches.” And then the pages were back in Natsume’s hands and his smile was practically blinding when Natsume nodded at the new changes.

 

“I’m glad to see you taking this so seriously Natsume, you’ve got a real talent here, and I want you to keep working towards it.”

 

And with that Natsume left feeling the warmth in the back of his eyes as he headed on forward towards his home.

  


When Natsume goes back over it he thinks hard on that time. He writes about the little teacup youkai that give it’s life to save Natsume from being killed or seriously injured. He writes about how Reiko had loved to have stayed, and Natsume gives himself a name for the story.

 

And at the end he retitles it; A Temporary Home.

 

By the time it’s all well and done, Natsume looks down at the pages and wonders why the stories seem to resonate so well with his teacher? He said he had talent...but all Natsume was doing was writing what he remembered. He wondered if that was enough...if he really was any good. He didn’t think he would wind this contest. Not at all. But his teacher kept explaining to Natsume that his writing was good, and it made Natsume want to hope.

 

So Natsume did what he always did when he was freaked out and stressed; go to sleep.

 

He was beyond thankful when Nyanko sensei become his giant wolf form and wrapped around Natsume to keep him warm and safe. His fur was so soft and it was enough to make Natsume melt into Nyanko sensei’s side. It was always enough to keep the nightmares at bay.

 

It just was a shame that when Natsume turned in his story finally he didn’t have Nyanko Sensei by his side to give him strength. Although Kawamoto had beamed at Natsume’s work and praised it happily, it didn’t help to calm Natsume’s heart.

 

It would be a month later that Natsume would learn his results.

* * *

  


When Tanuma finally decided on something to pursue Natsume had already turned in his writing for his contest and the results were coming in the next day. It had been hard work struggling through his meditation and prayers and sneaking away from Natsume to see Natori. Although Tanuma had managed to find a rhythm within the week by seeing Natsume sunday.

 

They happily met up on sundays and found a place to eat happily, sometimes Nishimura and Kitamoto would crash their exploring of the river or riding their bikes, or sometimes Taki would appear to chase around Nyanko Sensei. Despite it all...it was very peaceful and sublime to spend his time with Natsume and his friends.

It had been a hard month, but Tanuma had found he wasn’t getting as many headaches from the glasses, and he was amazed to find when he could see the youkai pond by his room, he could actually feel it too! His hand actually wet from touching a pond that wasn’t in his world.

 

It did make him wonder how much of the world did he not see that Natsume did.

 

Tanuma did work hard and by the end of the month he managed to make a protective sigil last about a day! Which was a big deal and his father and Natori had been so proud for him. He still hadn’t told Natsume but he wanted to wait...just until Natsume got the results back from the contest, he seemed to anxious about it that Tanuma didn’t want to add to his anxiety.

 

So when the time came for Natsume to talk to his teacher about the results Tanuma almost couldn't breathe. One he was anxious for Natsume, he wanted him to win! He knew Natsume had worked so hard on that story he had written, and in the span of a month Natsume had managed to fill two whole journals of stories. But two was the fact today was the day Tanuma was going to tell Natsume what he had been working on, and what he wanted to do for his future.

 

Next to Tanuma, Nishimura and Kitamoto sat each looking just as anxious as the last, and Taki and Sasada on the other side of him were also nervous, although Sasada was very good at hiding it.

 

When Natsume stepped out with a dazed look and small smile at his lips Tanuma knew Natsume had won. Kawamoto looked proud when Natsume explained he had won.

 

“He did us all proud with that story! They're going to publish it into the magazine at the end of next month!” Kawamoto declared with excitement and Tanuma gaped at the new information. Natsume ducked his head and the blush that filled his face was absolutely magnificent to look at, and without meaning to Tanuma had scooped Natsume up into a hug and laughed at Natsume’s surprised squeak.

 

Of course they celebrated; Touko had made a huge dinner and an even bigger dessert, and all the kids were ecstatic to praise Natsume on his accomplishment. Touko and Shigeru had already framed the small award Natsume had received. Natsume had been shy about the whole thing, even being quiet when Nyanko sensei stole his piece of cake twice.

 

When everyone had gone home and Tanuma had called his father to explain he was going to stay the night at the Fujiwara’s he was flushed with warmth.

 

He found Natsume kneeling in his room looking over the story that had won over...well a lot of people and gazed up at Tanuma with crinkled eyes.

 

“I guess...I didn’t think I would win.” Came his soft voice and it sounded so melodious and Tanuma remembered why he had worked so hard to be strong enough for Natsume. (Not that he had ever forgotten.)

 

Natsume needed more confidence, and so he found himself sitting down next to Natsume and crowding into his space to look down at the story as well.

 

“I thought you would.” He supplied. Natsume looked shocked by his response but the the surprised laughter was more than payment enough. Tanuma was struck with how much he... _loved_ Natsume. With his pale golden hair that became silver under the night sky and his cat like eyes...Tanuma was lucky to have him.

 

“Natsume...I..I have been going to Natori to be able to get stronger with my sight; and I! I’ve been studying with my father to get more spiritual energy! And I even! Have found a way to keep harmful youkai at bay...I..” When had Tanuma squeezed his eyes shut. He slowly slide his eyes open to see Natsume’s own shocked wide ones. He winced a bit but he had started now, he can’t go back.

 

“What I mean to say is...I want to live the rest of my life with you, and we need to find a way to make sure youkai don’t stop us from living a happy life, because that’s what he deserve. And as for the future! I know we're both frightened, but I've thought about it and I'm thinking about being a guidance counselor, and we can find a way to make it all work. ” Tanuma whispered losing confidence as he talked and he could no longer look Natsume in the eye.

“Tanuma?” there was his lithe voice.

 

“Tanuma, look at me.” Tanuma lifted his head up and oh...Natsume...he was crying.

 

“Oh Natsume no! No, no, no, no, it’s okay, don’t cry!” Tanuma attempted to comfort and Natsume sniffled out a wet laugh.

 

“No I’m not sad. I’m just so so happy Tanuma.” Natsume choked out and collapsed against Tanuma.

 

“Everyone is so perfect and good here that I almost can’t handle it.” Natsume sobbed out and Tanuma clutched the other boy to his chest, wanting to cry as well.

 

“I love you Natsume.” He whispered softly into Natsume’s ear. And the responding muffled cry was clearly an ‘I love you too’. It was absolutely heartbreaking to hear, but it made everything worth it to see Natsume loved and safe.

 

The ended up not even laying out a bed, just curled up like that both boys having tear streaks down their cheeks. But Touko was ever so silent and careful when she placed a warm blanket over the both of them, smiling happily as she left the room, watching her two new sons sleep soundly wrapped up together.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OMG IM SO SORRY HOW LONG THIS GOT, this chapter just got away from me, but let me know if you want more! I only update this story by demand, so let me know if you want more!
> 
> Thank you again to everyone who commented on last chapter! You're the best!


	5. First Names

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ooof This one took a lot out of me, and I got it done so early...I do have to say I was going through some things as I wrote this, and so this chapter is quite more....depressing then others were.   
> But thank you everyone who has been reading and supporting this! You are the reason this story updates!

It would be a month later when Natsume’s story got published in the magazine, and everyone was excited. Natsume was so adamant to not let anyone read through his journal, always clutching it close to his chest. Tanuma had tried to read the story that Natsume had submitted, but Natsume had been to embarrassed to let him, his face had become painted red. It was quite hilarious to see Natsume sink into his seat and grasp at the papers at his chest. His face darker than his light hair as he shook his head and hid the papers away. 

 

So everyone had been left in the dark. Which made everyone asking Kawamoto when Natsume’s story would be published, they all wanted to know what it was that Natsume had written. Tanuma especially, he knew the story and his writing had been helping Natsume immensely. Natsume was more...confident wasn’t the word, but he clearly wasn’t as anxious when he was left alone. He poured himself into those pastel journals of his, and Tanuma wanted to be able to know what it was he was so dedicated to. Tanuma wanted to understand all of Natsume, even the bad, and predominantly the good.

 

But Tanuma hadn't been allowed to read his stories, even if they did take a lot of Natsume's time. 

 

So Tanuma waited patiently for the day he could read what Natsume had so lovingly written. 

 

When Tanuma thought back on the day he told Natsume his idea of the future it was enough to fully embarrass him. He hadn't at all been tactful, but he had meant the truth and while he had told Natsume he had been learning to keep youkai at bay he hadn't in full honesty explained how far he had been going in order to be apart of Natsume's world. 

 

He knew if Natsume found out he wouldn't be exactly...happy. He didn't know about the blue tinted glasses, and he didn't know about the paper sigils. Tanuma somewhat dreaded the day Natsume found out about it, he hated when others got involved in the other world of his. It frustrated Tanuma to no end.

 

Tanuma wanted to live in the same world as Natsume, but Tanuma was only human while Natsume was ethereal. It was harder for Tanuma to step into that plane of existence and Natsume wasn't going to help him. Tanuma never wanted to push Natsume but at some point...it was starting to become hard to see that cage Natsume had built around himself. It always appeared as if you could see him, the cage looked thin and simple and you could reach through the panels but you could never step inside, and honestly...Tanuma was quite convinced Natsume had lost the key. 

 

Natsume had never let anyone in and even with Tanuma it was difficult. Tanuma knew it would take time...he knew they had time...but as time went on it didn't seem to change. In fact Natsume was getting better without Tanuma…which was good! But Tanuma wanted to be involved, but he wanted to be respectful...it was getting complicated in his head.

 

On one hand, Tanuma knew Natsume kept him at a distance to keep him safe and that meant he cared. But...it felt like he was being pushed away…

 

Tanuma had been told the future would be difficult and would be uncertain, but was this what they meant? This level of insecurity? This fear that at sometime Natsume would outgrow Tanuma, soulmate or not. 

 

Was this what Natsume felt? 

 

It was so turbulent in his thoughts right now that at this point Tanuma felt...lost. And yet...he cant bring it up to Natsume...not when he had been doing so well! Tanuma never wanted to set Natsume back.

 

Pushing it down seemed to be Tanuma's go to in these situations as of late. Push it down, and get as close to Natsume as he'd allow. Tanuma had observed how Natsume was tactile and yet so afraid of touch, and it always hurt to have Natsume lean in close only to pull away at the last second. 

 

And luckily Natsume was so distracted with his journals that, that seemed to be fading with time. And so...without intruding Tanuma wanted to read those stories, he wanted to be involved in what exactly it was that made the love of his life feel better. 

 

It seemed Tanuma wasn't alone with that sentiment either. 

 

It wasn't just Nishimura and Kitamoto that were ablaze with excitement for Natsume's story. In fact it wasn't just Sasada or Taki it was practically the whole school. Natsume was a bit of a celebrity when he showed up, Tanuma remembered being so happy to have the limelight off of himself when the other boy showed up.

 

Natsume was absolutely gorgeous and before Tanuma had met him he had heard several stories about how it wasn't terribly clear by his looks what gender he was, or how his hair was so fair and his eyes mystical. How he stayed so quiet and sometimes he got intense...it was easy to say most of the girls began to whisper of his beauty as well as a few of the boys. 

 

Tanuma had gotten curious back when Natsume first arrived, he had heard all the gossip about how this delinquent beauty had burned down his last school, and he wanted to know what he looked like. 

 

He remembered poking in to see Kitamoto, and asking him which was the infamous Natsume. But from just glancing up mid question he had his answer. Natsume looked absolutely godly in his rest, Tanuma never got a look at his eyes but he didn't need to, the rumors had been right. He was stunning, and without thinking Tanuma had ran away before he could meet those famous eyes.

 

To think Tanuma would be so lucky to end up his soulmate...well it was almost unbelievable. 

 

So in reality...it wasn't shocking when news of Natsume's story getting published travelled through the classes, long whispers and giggles and speculations on what the story could possibly be about. Either way...everyone wanted to know. 

 

And yet, Natsume was tight lipped and flushed with embarrassment about it, he would murmur not to expect much, but it did nothing to stop the excitement. Everyone wanted to know what it was that had captivated such an exquisite boy. 

  
  


In the meantime, Tanuma spent his days focusing on a path forward and pushing all his insecurities down into his stomach. He kept himself busy and he found laying down and relaxing wasn’t enough anymore. He needed to be moving, there was too much to do, his leg constantly bouncing even when he was sitting still. Sometimes Natsume would glance down at his restless hands or legs and lay a steading hand down. It was nice in the moment, a small refuge from the constant worrying but nothing was enough to make him stop altogether. 

 

Tanuma found meditating so much harder as the apprehension for the future sunk in. It took a lot for him to sit down and make sure he could build up enough spiritual energy for the protective wards. He couldn't muster enough concentration for the wards to last all day like he had before- he felt like he was slipping. 

 

As for talking about being a guidance counselor; Tanuma was having an easier time. He was having meetings with his own guidance counselor to see what the paths were for him. He was looking through study books to make sure he could get into the college he needed to for his future. It was a big college, and it was terrifying to think about...he had yet to speak to Natsume about it though. He didn’t really know if he should...the college was in the city, and Natsume hated the city; he thrived here in the country, and Tanuma never wanted to take that away. 

He wasn’t entirely sure if Natsume even planned to head to college; they hadn’t really spoken about it and that alone was petrifying. 

 

But Tanuma digressed, he was bubbling tension out at his seams and he didn’t want to acknowledge it; so he didn’t. So Tanuma sat down at lunch with his counselor instead of clinging to Natsume and asked about what he should be preparing for. He walked through his study book with his counselor and talked over the possibilities of cram school. The test would be in a year or so, but Tanuma was told it was better to get prepared now: the sooner the better. By the time Tanuma was done and school was over he found himself patiently waiting outside of Natsume’s class as Kawamoto-san was talking over somethings with Natsume. His story would be published next week. Tanuma couldn’t wait. He didn’t notice it, but his fingers tapped away at his giant study books, running over them in erratic pattern. 

 

Tanuma glanced inside and felt his heart skip a beat. Natsume stood there still and the window was ajar letting a soft breeze filter through. His hands were clenched around his journal and the way his lips upturned was outright magnificent. It was a small smile, hesitant and surprised- as if Natsume, himself didn’t know his cheeks had pulled up. His eyes a light with this joyous shock, surprised that someone would be praising him. 

 

He knew Kawamoto-san had asked to read another of Natsume’s story, and Natsume had let him, but no one knew what it was but Kawamoto loved them. 

 

Tanuma wanted to be the one to read those stories...to be the one to praise Natsume’s words and watch his face light up with surprise and glee. Tanuma shook his head and looked back at his feet waiting...he needed to stop thinking about this, he didn’t want to consume Natsume’s time, it was so  _ rare _ for Natsume to have people open to him, and Tanuma needed to stop wanting to interfere. Natsume needed this time with others. He needed to know he was loved, no matter what, that he was talented, and beautiful and….perfect…

 

Tanuma sighed deeply and let his head lean back closing his eyes. He just needed to focus on his path forward, he had a lot to do, and he wanted to make sure he was prepared so he could share it with Natsume. 

  
  
  


It would be a week later when things started to boil down. It was the day Natsume’s narrative was published, and everyone was buzzing with excitement. Nishimura was grabbing the magazine after class and the other’s were going to meet him to read it. Natsume had gone pale when they had revealed their plans and he had been close to begging them to not read the story but that wouldn’t stop them. And as much as Tanuma didn’t want to say it, it wouldn't stop Tanuma either. He wanted to be apart of Natsume’s world, and this was the first step. They hadn’t had any dates since this whole story writing and Tanuma’s prepping had started. 

 

In fact...they had been rather...separated since they had whispered I love you to each other that night after Natsume had won his award. Tanuma so busy and Natsume so wrapped up. Tanuma sort of wished he could go back to that...that reassurance that made him feel better. 

 

But there they all were Natsume twitching in his spot on the floor at Tanuma’s place as they all waited to Nishimura to come back with the magazine, they had made him promise he wouldn’t preemptively read it. Taki hummed with excitement as she took a bite from a watermelon slice, in her lap Ponto was eating his own watermelon. 

 

“Oh...I can’t wait” She smiled, hugging Ponto tighter to her chest who only grunted in response. Natsume didn’t react and without thinking Tanuma slipped his hand into Natsume’s, his hand was sweaty and he was pale from nerves. He quirked a small smile up and gript Tanuma’s hand tight. Tanuma felt so much more better that he could tough Natsume again and smiled. Although it didn’t last long as Nishimura came stumbling in with Kitamoto; magazine in hand. 

 

“OKAY! OKAY!” Nishimura stumbled out falling down and laying out the magazine, “TADA!” He threw his arms wide smacking Kitamoto as he did so. Taki crawled forward with glee in her eyes as she started flipping the pages. Tanuma felt his hand being crushed when Taki finally reached the page-

“WAIT!” Nishimura called out thrusting out a hand, smacking the magazine on the floor. 

 

“How, are we going to do this? Read it one after another? Read it out loud?” And he had a point...Kitamoto tapped at his chin as he sunk down next to Tanuma. 

 

“I...if you’re going to read outloud! I uhhh, I’m gonna sit outside for a bit.” And with that the heat of Natsume was gone. Tanuma watched him run out of his door and towards the patio, Ponto quickly following; he knew he was heading towards the spirit pond Tanuma had and Taki looked concerned. Tanuma briefly wondered if he should follow, but he glanced back at the magazine where Natsume’s words were and knew he couldn’t leave. 

“Kitamoto...why don’t you read it outloud.” Tanuma asked softly, his hands were shaking and his fingers felt cold. Kitamoto nodded in response, lifting the magazine up to start reading. 

 

It was titled ‘A Temporary Home’ and Tanuma already felt sick. 

 

With a title like that...what were they getting themselves into. 

 

Kitamoto started reading, and Tanuma froze, it was about a young woman, a woman cursed with spiritual power and her name was Reiko. 

 

Tanuma  _ knew _ that name. Reiko...Reiko..Natsume’s lost grandmother. 

 

The story was heartbreaking, how Reiko found love and hope and a home, and yet her timer said not yet. Not yet….

 

No one mentioned it when Taki started to sniffle, pressing a thumb into her own timer that was counting down. 

 

Not yet, and Reiko’s timer was probably never going to go off, and yet she put her soul in to defend that home, to defend that happiness and love despite knowing it would never be for her. Defend that goodness from a creature of evil. How she did all she could to protect that house even damaging it and was kicked out for her efforts. How she left with someone whose timers never would alarm for each other. How it was a curse of that family and her timer went on to her grandson, still waiting for that love and hope and home. In the story that boy’s timer doesn't count down to love, not to his soulmate but his death, and that home filled with love and hope was still waiting for that timer. 

 

But the creature of evil came back and caught that boy, how a small teacup (given by the house) had given up their life for the boy so when his timer went off his life did not end. 

 

Nishimura was hugging a pillow tightly next to Kitamoto as he read outloud. Tanuma didn’t know what was happening but he found himself completely chilled. Kitamoto cleared his throat but no one talked about it much, and then continued reading, his voice less steady as he went. 

 

The boy did not die and his timer was set to a different time, and the boy prayed for that family he had found a home with, and the ghost of Reiko showed him how to protect the house as she once did. The boy did as his grandmother once had and when that boy of the house saw the damage he had done, he did not kick out the grandson as he had Reiko. Finally...the timer went off and love was finally settling in the family, the love that Reiko had deserved all along. A curse of the timer finally broken. 

 

It’s thoroughly heart wrenching when they finish the story, none of them are without tears. Tears for the grandmother Reiko who knew she would never find love, even though she knew where it would be, she was too early. How her love was so strong to protect it damaged the very place she adored.

 

Tears for the grandson who knew he would die for that love, that same love his grandmother had. For the grandson named  Utsuro (  空ろ meaning blank, empty or hollow) and knew he would be without love as well. How the house had felt that love and given back just as much and offered a life in a teacup in repayment.

 

They cried for the son of the house named Shige that saw his mistake in Reiko and sought to bring light in the darkness in Utsuro. 

 

They cried for the two families, the first cursed to pass their timer down for generations; to know no love. And the second; a family empty without their soulmates and having their hearts filled with a creature of darkness. 

 

Two families intertwined, finally meeting at the end to break both curses with acceptance. 

 

_ It hurt _ .

 

Kitamoto took in a shaky breath and whispered, “He sure knows how to write.” 

 

“Yeah it was like a...like one of those dark fairytales. You know those fables you read as a kid?” Nishimura spoke, there were tears slipping down his cheeks but he furiously began to wipe them away. 

 

“I’m not surprised that he won.” Taki sniffled. She looked down and slowly slid her eyes over to Tanuma. 

 

Tanuma sat frozen...Natsume had told him of his grandmother Reiko...he knew that meant Utsuro was Natsume. For Natsume to name himself….Hollow...or Empty...he knew it fit in the story...if the story really was just a fairytale. He watched as Nishimura and Kitamoto started to sober up and laugh again but Tanuma couldn’t not yet. Not when he started understanding the meaning behind the tale Natsume had written. Not when Taki’s eyes bored into the side of his head. He knew...he knew this wasn’t just some storyline Natsume had placed down on paper. Natsume was petrified of lying...yet he did it often. This may not have been true but...the thoughts behind it were. 

 

Nishimura didn’t know that there were actually teacup spirits. Kitamoto wasn’t aware that there were dark creatures that haunted Natsume’s every step. They didn’t understand what these writings meant. Not really. 

 

Tanuma stood up and he think he muttered out he was going to get Natsume he wasn’t very sure. He was unsteady as he walked towards the patio. He made it outside and he could see Natsume sitting down with Ponto in his arms looking out at what Tanuma assumed was where the pond was. His face less white but still just as muted as usual. The sun was setting and Tanuma caught the gold around his body, and Tanuma wanted to scream. He wanted to ask why Natsume had written that story? Why had Tanuma not known of this dark creature? Was he not his soulmate? Had their timers not sounded off for each other? 

 

Natsume looked up and offered a soft smile but Tanuma didn’t return it. Instead he sat down next to Natsume and watched the sunset through the trees. 

 

“Did...did you...you finish it?” 

 

“Yeah.”

 

“Oh.”

 

Tanuma didn’t speak after that, just sitting next to Natsume, never close enough to touch. 

 

“Did you like it?”

 

“It was well written.” Tanuma breathed, “Very well written, it made us all cry.”

 

“Oh, I’m sorry.” 

 

“No. It was good...technically had a happy ending.” 

 

The silence was palpable as they sat there. Tanuma didn’t need to see to know Ponto was struggling out of Natsume’s lap and scuttling away. 

 

“It was like a fairytale.” Tanuma finally uttered, closing his eyes as he tried to think about his next words. 

 

“Oh...yeah I wanted...Kawamoto made me change a few things, but I wanted to make it close to the real story.” 

 

“Right. The ‘Real Story’.” So Tanuma was right….there was a real story. Tanuma finally opened his eyes to look at the grass where he knew the pond should be, he could see the light reflecting off and dancing on their legs and arms. 

 

“Hold on for a moment.” Tanuma whispered as he stood up and walked towards his room, he passed by Kitamoto, Nishimura, and Taki welcoming in Sasada to read the story, warning her how sad it was. Sasada had told them she would be late. Tanuma walked into his room and picked up his glasses case and headed out, passing as Sasada started to read. He made it back to Natsume and cracked his case open. Natsume looked over in interest. 

 

Tanuma placed the glasses over his eyes and looked over at the pond, the blue tint neutralizing against the harsh red of the sunset. 

 

“I didn’t know you got glasses?” Natsume questioned. Tanuma let his eyes trail after a Koi fish. 

 

“I didn’t know you blew up your room.” was Tanuma’s reply. 

 

The silence that followed was enough to make everything so much heavier in the air. Tanuma couldn’t bare to look over at Natsume, and he felt so much building up in him, all his thoughts oozing into his mind and behind his eyes. He didn’t blink. 

 

“I...I’m sorry...I didn’t…” 

 

“Don’t say you’re sorry. Please.” Tanuma whispered, he could feel his throat tighten. He heard Natsume shift next to him. 

 

“My glasses aren’t for my vision, it’s to help me see.” Tanuma finally told, he didn’t want anymore secrets,  _ he didn’t.  _

 

“What?” Came Natsume’s soft voice.

 

“They’re to help me see the youkai...I can see them now.” 

 

“What!? Tanuma!” Natsume was suddenly standing and he sounded furious. Tanuma refused to look away from his spot he was staring at. His eyes were filling with tears and he  _ wasn’t _ going to let them fall, not yet at least. 

 

“Why would you do that!? Don’t you know how dangerous! How!- Don’t you realize how” 

 

“I don’t.” Tanuma cut off. He finally let his eyes fall down to his hands that were shaking. 

 

“Of course I don’t know. You don’t tell me Natsume.” he could hear Natsume take in a sharp breath. 

 

“Yes… you tell me about the dangers but. You don’t, not really?” The tears started to slip down his face and he rubbed them away angrily. 

“How am I supposed to know when you don’t even tell me when you were in trouble?! We were soulmates then.” Tanuma growled out frustrated by his own tears. 

 

“I know that wasn’t a fairytale Natsume! The Real Story  _ right? _ You fought something off and why do I have to find out about that with a story you wrote with everyone else?” Tanuma’s breath hitched and clenched his fist.

 

“All you do is pour your time in the stories, and that’s good! I don’t mean to take that away, I...you just don’t let me in Natsume.” and Tanuma was hiccuping now. 

 

“I want to be in your life! I-I do! Bu-But you push me away! You do-don’t share and I sit here worried, In fact! I’m ter-terrified all the time!” He slowly curled in himself. 

 

“Of course I wanted to see, be-because you wouldn’t tell me anything, how, how, how am I supposed to know if you’re in danger?” Tanuma’s muffled words came out as he pressed his shaking hands into his face and his knees pulled up in a form of fetal position. 

 

“How am I supposed to know what to do when we don’t talk.” His voice died down and he wasn’t entirely certain if Natsume was still there. 

 

“Tanuma...I...I’m so sorry, I didn’t even think, I’-” 

 

“Stop saying you’re sorry! I know why you do it, okay!” Tanuma whipped his face away to glare at Natsume and... _god...Natsume looked heartbroken and Tanuma had_ ** _done_** _that._

 

“I...I get it okay, I understand, I just...I wish it was easier. I wish I was more confident for you.” he brokenly whispered as he looked away, he couldn’t look at the tears swirling in Natsume’s eyes any longer. 

 

“Tanuma I-” Natsume’s voice broke as he tried to speak and Tanuma peeked over at him. Tears were glistening down his cheeks and his mouth was pressed tight and thin, as if he was attempting to keep in his sob. 

 

He blinked rapidly and more water droplets fell from his long lashes. He opened his mouth to attempt to speak again. 

 

“I never...I just wanted to protect you. And you are good! I…” Natsume took a gulp of air as if he couldn’t breathe. “Love you.” Natsume finally uttered out. 

 

Tanuma huffed out a choked laugh and wiped his tears away as well. 

 

“I...I’ve been studying with Natori and my dad on how to make proper protection wards for you. I...I’ve also been working on studying for exams to become a guidance counselor in the future, okay, I just...I’m sorry for not sharing with you but I am now, I don’t...no more of these secrets please,  _ it hurts.” _

 

Natsume nodded and swiped a fresh tear stain on his cheek away. 

 

“O-ookay...Okay, I...I want to stay with you Tanuma, I do...I…” Tanuma’s heart sank. 

 

“But.” Tanuma offered. In the corner of his eye he could see Natsume’s head snap back up. 

 

“No! No but, I just...I’m scared. I’m scared, I don’t know how to handle it all, I’ve always-” And Natsume’s words slipped and faltered away; and Tanuma understood. 

 

He remembered that plot of the story Natsume had written. How the boy Utsuro had been alone without love so long he didn’t know how to recognize it in the home he found. 

 

“You’re loved Natsume...even if you leave.” Tanuma whispered and he knew now, he knew that’s what Natsume needed to hear. His eyes red and his lip worried between his teeth. He looked like a lost child, so alone and afraid, and Tanuma knew he wasn’t the only one that had been tearing apart at the seams. Both of them had been so petrified that they hadn’t talked to each other and gotten lost on their own. 

 

Tanuma bundled Natsume up and hugged him as tight as he could, pressing his face into the crook of Natsume’s neck. He could feel the fleeting heartbeat of Natsume against his cheek. Natsume began to openly sob against Tanuma’s shoulder and there was one last thing bugging Tanuma. 

 

“Your name is Takashi. Not Utsuro.” Tanuma whispered and he could feel Natsume tense up beneath him. But that wasn’t going to stop Tanuma.

 

“Your name is Takashi okay. Takashi.” Tanuma squeezed tighter when he felt more water patches on his shoulder. 

 

“You’re not empty.” Tanuma whispered and kissed the side of Natsume’s head. The embarrassment would kick in later, Tanuma knew that much, but he needed Natsume to know he wasn’t something so insignificant. Natsume was his whole world, and to think he saw himself as something that low was nauseating. 

 

“You’re Takashi and I love you.” Tanuma made sure to push Natsume’s hair back as he told him that, he wanted to make sure Natsume didn’t misunderstand him, that Natsume heard. 

 

Natsume didn’t ever answer back but when he finished hiccuping and Tanuma was able to cool down his own tears Sasada and Taki were heading out, apparently Nishimura and Kitamoto had already left. Tanuma felt bad for making them all so uncomfortable but when everyone was gone and Tanuma turned to see Natsume still curled on his patio with Ponto on his lap. Well...maybe it was for the best. 

 

Tanuma slowly walked over to him and sucked in his lips in thought, Natsume was still sniffling but he wasn’t looking up. Tanuma knew this was a lot of emotions for Natsume. He knew why he didn’t want his friends to read his story, especially those that knew about the youkai. It was a deep look into Natsume’s thoughts, and his heart. It was something he had never expected to share, and suddenly everyone was reading it and peering into his soul. To share all that Natsume thought was dangerous and Natsume never wanted to hurt anyone, and Tanuma understood, he  _ understood.  _ He just didn’t like it. Just like he didn’t like How Natsume’s first instinct was to apologize, to flinch, to write a story about how he was an empty being with a timer counting down to his death, doomed to be without love since he had been born to a cursed family name. 

 

And maybe it wasn’t so much a fairytale. Maybe...Maybe Natsume really believed all of that. Tanuma looked down at his own timer at 00:00:00:00 and ran his fingers over it, watching the light replicate itself on Natsume’s. Slowly he sat down and looked at their swinging feet, Natsume was wearing his famous blue socks. 

 

“I liked how you looked when we first met because I like the look of delinquents.” Natsume blurted out.

 

“What?” Tanuma whipped around and Natsume’s cheeks were colored red like his eyes. 

 

“I...Just-no secrets...that's what you wanted?” Natsume turned away from Tanuma. 

 

“I mean...no. That’s cruel and unreasonable to ask of you, you don’t need to share anything with me that you don’t want to. I just..when it’s important like this whole other world that can harm you? Or something that’s going to help you? Or, or, or if it’s dark thoughts? Please tell me” Tanuma answered looking back at the pond. It was quiet for a long time as they watched that pond. The koi fish danced along the surface and slowly Natsume scooted closer and laid his head down on Tanuma’s shoulder. Tanuma closed his eyes and took in a steadying breath and he felt like he could cry all over again from the exhaustion of emotions. They sat there together a long time, Ponto crawling over to lounge in both of their laps. They both were tired, both insecure, and both worried. But in this moment Tanuma knew speaking out was the correct step. The future was still uncertain and completely terrifying. But...they had each other. Somehow their fingers became tangled together and Tanuma laid his head down on Natsume’s. Taking in a deep breathe he let everything out. It wasn’t a fix, it never would be. Tanuma would still bounce his leg in anxiety, and his hands would always shake in worry, but Nastume’s presence would always be a reprise. 

  
  
  


Natsume didn’t end up staying that night, he went home to the Fujiwara’s with his story in hand and he looked up at Tanuma with worry. Tanuma had smiled in reassurance and they didn’t share a kiss but Tanuma told him with confidence Natsume needed to share the story with his parents. When Tanuma’s father got home Tanuma hugged him tight and he felt like a little child all over again. Sobbing in his father’s arms, desperate for comfort and reassurance. 

 

That night he fell asleep right next to his father and he dreamt of nothing for the first time in a while. 

  
  


 

* * *

 

 

 

Natsume went home that night with tears in his eyes, and uncertainty in his heart. He walked to his house and slowly stepped inside with the magazine in his hands. Natsume slowly slipped his shoes off and headed towards the kitchen where he knew the Fujiwaras would be. 

 

When Natsume walked into the kitchen he saw some of the two most important people in his life. He watched Reiko laugh at something Shigeru said and how she flitted around making sure the food was perfect-it always was. He watched Shigeru straighten out his newspaper and chuckle softly at whatever they were laughing at. 

Natsume could feel Nyanko-sensei brush against his legs and head inside. Natsume ducked his head down, tempted to run, desiring to hide. He caught green eyes staring at him down and Nyanko-sensei's ear twitched towards the kitchen. 

 

Natsume took a hesitant step in the kitchen and sniffled to try and clear his throat, walking up hoping to make sure he didn't worry his acting guardians. 

It didn't work though. 

 

Touko was first to look up, then Shigeru followed her line of sight when she gasped. Natsume tried to voice reassurance when Touko ran over to him, bundling him up in her thin arms. Natsume didn't fight her when she pressed his head onto her shoulder. She cooed softly and Natsume closed his eyes, not knowing how hesitantly Shigeru stood, keeping his hand hovered Natsume’s back; questioning Touko if he could come closer nonverbally. Natsume never saw the worry on both his parents’ eyes, but he did feel the reassurance. Shigeru gently laid his hand on Natsume’s shoulder and Natsume broke. He never cried out loud, always silent. He had learn long ago making noise was bad. 

 

So the feast was forgotten. And for once, Shigeru was the one that caught Natsume in his arms, hoisting him up in a bridal position as if he was holding a small child. Natsume wasn’t frightened of Shigeru anymore. He laid his arms around Shigeru’s neck and hid his face in his shoulder and Shigeru patted his back gently as they walked up the steps. No one asked what had happened, there would be time for that later. Instead Shigeru gently placed Natsume in his bed roll and let Touko tuck the boy in, laying by his side and whispering such soft praises, which only lead to more tears. 

 

Shigeru snuck away not wanting to impose too long on his proxy son. He loved that boy so much, but he knew how his presence made Natsume worried, or frightened. Shigeru was aware of what Natsume’s past relationships with taller, older men was like, and knew to make Natsume feel better, sometimes it was smarter to leave him be. 

So he left and found himself heading back to the kitchen to turn off the stove his soulmate had turned on to simmer over some sauce. It was then when Shigeru found the magazine precariously laying on the floor. He kneeled down and picked it up with interest and flipped a few pages over; it was slightly bent, and was clearly been dropped a couple times. Shigeru ran his fingers through the pages when he saw his name...Takashi Natsume, with a story titled ‘ A Temporary Home’. 

 

Shigeru furrowed his eyebrows in concern as he slowly sat down at the kitchen table and started to read. It was a simple tale...he read as a girl named Reiko appeared, helping a boy out, a boy whose name was Shige. And Shigeru recognized the story...this was his story? But different. He was ramrod still as his eyes glazed over the words. In this story Shigeru’s ball wasn’t stuck in a tree, but rather a spirit had the ball in their grasp. The girl wasn’t crazy but cursed. He remembered Reiko with her golden hair and sharp eyes, he remembered her dancing in the wind and watching the world bend around her. 

In the story her timer would never go off. 

 

Shigeru felt sick as he read on, grateful he was sitting, he would have needed to sit if he hadn’t been already. In the story the home was empty waiting for it’s timed who was cursed to never find love, in its emptiness a demon took root. Shigeru read as Reiko found this home she was meant to find love with, but her curse didn’t allow her to rest. How it was too early and the curse made her timer count to the end of her bloodline. He read as despite all that Reiko fought that demon sitting in the houses walls; and Shigeru remembered that. He remembered letting the mystery girl in, he remembered her destroying his room and Shigeru being blamed for it, but...but the odd occurrences had left. 

In the story her love for the place harmed the house and she left, and her grandson Utsuro returned, his timer coming to the end, he was the end of the bloodline; bearing the same curse. Shigeru knew this was Takashi, and it stabbed him to keep on reading. He read as the demon returned, even though the boy was in the home, he read how the home gave up a teacup to save his life and Shigeru recalled the day Touko had found a teacup broken on the floor she had never seen before. 

He read on as the grandson got help from the memories and spirit of his grandmother, and performed the same ritual with the help of a cat that was left from the grandmother. The demon finally bested with the power, and the home safe once more. Shigeru’s heart skipped a beat as the grandson Utsuro became terrified when the boy- now a man- Shige had seen the damage he had done to the house, just as his grandmother had. But Shige was grown now, and accepted Utsuro and the curse was finally broken. 

 

Shigeru could recollect all those events as clear as day, he saw Natsume shaking surrounded by destruction and begging, mirroring what the mystifying girl, Reiko, had once made. Natsume had been devastated by what had occured and Shigeru couldn’t be angry, he had seen the strange curse like occurrences. He remembered them from when he was a kid, and it was too much of a coincidence to shake off...especially with this story. This wasn’t….couldn’t be all fiction. 

 

He thought wistfully about the fiery blond girl that had once sat herself in their valley, how the winds swirled around her and the leaves danced. How the trees laughed, and the water rippled, as if her very presence could make even mother nature react. She had not been a simple somebody, but rather something to be revered. That girl had pressed her very being into a world unseen and Shigeru had been convinced she was some form of demigod or witch. But now...with Natsume at his side…

 

Takashi could see things they couldn’t...that was obvious, Shigeru hadn’t mentioned it to Touko but he had checked up with doctors to see if possibly Takashi’s harsh upbringing had brought on delusions or hallucinations, and he just needed help. But as time went on and Shigeru had seen the way he was flourishing, he had pulled away from the doctors and just….watched. Shigeru had heard all the excuses from previous families, and Takashi wasn’t a liar, he wasn’t destructive and he wasn’t troubled. He was hurt. Hurt and afraid, and traumatized. And now that Shigeru thought about that girl Reiko...remembered how the land had conspired with her, how she spun amongst the floating flowers and talked to the sky, and how the rain would swirl around her never touching her skin. Well...Shigeru realized Takashi wasn’t so different. Shigeru wasn’t a child anymore and he wasn’t able to watch Takashi all the time, but there were moments. Moments where he saw the rain part for him, or the snow swirl around him. Shigeru had been walking home one day early from work and had seen how Takashi was standing in a field of snow and the snow suddenly exploded upwards, making a wild waltz around the boy, and Takashi had laughed raising his hands up as the snowflakes swayed in the air and shot back up. 

Snow didn’t fly back up...not when the air was so stagnant. Shigeru had been awestruck for a while and he knew this wasn’t the first time he had seen something odd around Takashi. He recalled all the strange offering like gifts that had appeared on their doorstep a couple times. Bottles of saki, or fresh fish still alive, or berries that were ripe. Natsume had been so embarrassed and Shigeru could never figure out why but now...now Shigeru knew. 

 

It wasn’t some magic the Natsume family had (or maybe it was). It wasn’t Reiko and Takashi causing the earth to move, it was Reiko and Takashi being apart of a world others weren’t. With their porcelain skin, and pale golden hair, and cat like eyes...it wasn’t hard to believe that they weren’t just human. 

But to think...Takashi had been dealing with such demons and terrors his whole life. No wonder he didn’t open up, he had been betrayed by his own family members and left to rot in a world that didn’t care to listen. 

Shigeru placed the magazine down and stared out into space for a moment. Standing up he turned off the stove as he headed back upstairs. 

He wouldn’t bring it up, He never wanted to alienate Takashi, but he would make sure Takashi was safe, no matter what! He would protect his son against anything. 

 

So it wasn’t that odd when he and his wife found themselves asleep together with their son curled between them. 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

The next day Natsume found himself at Tanuma’s place, sitting down and helping him study. When they got too bored of that Natsume helped push Tanuma’s spiritual limits, and when he got to tired for that they sat down watching the pond with Tanuma’s glasses on. 

They were finally opening up to each other, Natsume was tired from his emotions but most of all he felt comforted by his parents. He had woken up to Shigeru kissing his forehead and Touko brushing his hair aside, and he was a teenager but he felt like a little child all over again...except he had never received that comfort as a kid and it was so much nicer than he ever imagined.  

Touko was quick to push Natsume out the door and towards Tanuma, and he was told when they patched everything over to come back home since there would be a celebration for his story. 

Tanuma had been quiet but it was actually quite nice to see Tanuma push himself to a limit, and it didn’t help that he looked more raggard then usual. He wore a unopened flannel over a shirt and it Natsume could barely look at him without blushing, he wondered if Tanuma dressed himself with Natsume’s confession in mind. 

Tanuma had his glasses on and they were quite...well lovely on his face. He looked much older and more confident with them, and Natsume couldn’t help but feel the hot embarrassment overwash him. 

“Soooo...you like delinquents?” Tanuma whispered and Natsume smacked his hands into his face. He could he a soft laugh coming from Tanuma. 

“IT’S Not like that! It’s just...I like their fashion sense?” Natsume tried to save. Tanuma cackled at his answer. But then it slowly fell away and Natsume looked up at Tanuma.

His eyes were stalking some koi fish in his pond, his midnight black eyes looking so much more bluer with his tinted glasses. Natsume was hit with how beautiful and kind Tanuma was to him, he softly he had told him he wasn’t empty. Natsume tilted his head to watch Tanuma, letting his head rest on his hand. Tanuma’s hair was so much longer now and was blowing in the wind, just as wild as he remembered. 

“Thank you for everything Kaname.” 

Tanuma whipped his head to the side his face a blaze with blush. 

“W-what did you just say?” Tanuma whispered, Natsume ducked his head away fighting off the urge to scream into his hands. His own neck erupting with heat. 

“K-kaname.” He replied back, “You...called me Takashi.” He tried to reason, his voice cracking as he spoke. Tanuma’s face got even redder- and Natsume didn’t think that possible- as he threw his face into his arms. 

“I knew I’d regret that!” He whined, Natsume could see his ears turning a brilliant shade of red. 

Natsume looked down and he felt bold all over again, he felt the strength of getting out, he felt the freedom of crying out his sorrows. 

“Don’t...it was nice..” He muttered softly looking back at the koi pond. He could see Tanuma peeking out at him. 

“I...I l-love you Kan-kaname” He stuttered out with great effort, refusing to look over at his soulmate who would most certainly look just as embarrassed as him. 

It was a tense minute as neither boy reacted. Both too afraid to reach out, but both desperately wanting to. 

“I-...I love you too Takashi.” Tanuma whispered back, looking over they finally made contact, tears spilling into the corner of Natsume’s eyes. Then the tension snapped and both boys started to laugh. Finding themselves wanting to bask in each other’s presence, they reach for each other, Tanuma’s hands on Natsume’s shoulders as they laughed, and Natsume stumbling into Tanuma’s chest. The slowly sobered up from the humor and they they were curled up next to each other on the patio and Natsume started thinking about that garden back at the Fujiwara’s. 

 

“I want to plant something with you, whatever you want, just...something I can grow in a pot.”

“What?” Natsume thought about it for a moment and smiled. Knowing for once he had the strength to explain. 

“I want to have something with me at all times to remember all this by, something to keep with me that will grow and change as I do...a plant of your picking. A plant to hold all our memories together.” Natsume tilted his head up to gaze at Tanuma with interest. He looked choked. 

“I-...I’d love that. Takashi.” Tanuma tacked on at the end as an afterthought, his skin heating up and his hands shaking. 

Natsume smiled, closing his eyes as he listened to Tanuma’s thumping heart in his chest...he wanted to write about this moment.  

 

“I promise to tell you more Kaname.” Natsume mumbled, he swore he could head Tanuma’s heart skip a beat. 

“Me too.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope this one granted some wishes, again this story only updates by demand, which means the more feedback and want for a chapter the more I will do it, if no one wants a new chapter it will end. 
> 
> Thank you everyone for reading and if you want more just comment!


	6. A New Book

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Omg I'm so sorry for how long this took me, in all honesty I'm in a constant fight with my depression and loneliness and art slump, and lately theyve been hitting harder. 
> 
> So I'm so sorry for how late this is but I hope you enjoy it. 
> 
> Again! This story only updates by demand, if you want to see more comment and let me know, hell you can even comment what you want to read and I can try and incorporate it!

The first time Shibata had met Natsume he hadn’t been impressed. Natsume was a small child and too easy to pick on, hell he had even believed them when he had said the timer was to your death. Natsume jumped at everything and he constantly screamed at things that no one else could see, it made Shibata scared and most of all angry. He never thought hard on it as a kid, Natsume was just a blip on his life. The small pale child had only been in his school for five months.  

 

In those five months Natsume had cowered and screeched and ran for most of his days, and when he didn’t do that he sat motionless like a doll. Shibata had thought him annoying. 

 

But it didn’t matter the boy had disappeared and Shibata hadn’t thought about it again. Well until he reached Middle school. It had been a passing thought but there had been a scandal with one of the teachers attacking a student and Shibata had seen her bruised wrists and wondered why they seemed so familiar. It would be later that night when he was laying down in bed he would remember why. The pale boy Natsume. 

 

When Shibata began to recollect the old memories, he recalled things he never noticed before. Maybe it was because he was too young or maybe it was because he had cared to look now, but he remembered bruising, he remembered the teacher pulling Natsume aside, and he especially remembered Natsume flinching. 

 

It had been an eye opening experience, in fact it had hurt to acknowledge so Shibata tried his best to forget the pale boy he had tormented. That was until he met her. Murasaki, she was gorgeous and when Shibata met her he was so disappointed to see his timer not exploding. At first it hadn’t been that odd, she seemed like a normal person but then...then she was cold, she was cold and always in the park, never gone. When she reached out her hand he had seen the blank skin, she held no timer. 

 

Shibata remembered Natsume’s stories about the things that went unseen. He thought about the boy that held so much mystery and bruising. He wondered if anything that boy had said was true...this girl couldn't be real...but even if he could find answers from Natsume, it wasn't like he knew where the boy was. It had been bugging him for days when one of the girls in his class started crying over a magazine. Shibata had thought it strange, and his curiosity got the better of him, causing him to look over said magazine. It was some strange story about soulmates and curses, the girls had crowded and cried over the magazine, and when Shibata looked over the name of the author his heart froze. 

 

Natsume, Takashi. 

 

It couldn't be a coincidence, it was too uncanny! There was no picture for the author but there was a grade and a place and that's all Shibata needed. Despite popular opinions, Shibata would consider himself smart. Not a genius of course, but smart enough. 

 

So like any smart person he went to that said town, and honestly he was lucky. It was a small little town- if it could even be called that. It was more of a village in all its glory. The roads were dirt, and the land was covered in foliage, and even the more populated area- while having asphalt- seemed to be more rural. It was probably with the fact the buildings were constructed ages ago...or so Shibata imagined. When he stumbled upon the school he had asked for the boy named Natsume, only to find the boy had left early due to sickness. While that did sound like the Natsume Shibata knew, it wasn’t a good enough confirmation. 

 

So the next day after class Shibata traveled again, even leaving earlier than usual; pretending to have a headache to get out of class. 

 

But again there was no Natsume, it was maddening. Maybe Shibata needed to give up, he didn’t even know if this Natsume was the same one, and even if that kid really did see anything. For all he knew the kid really did lie in their class. 

 

He had given up hope when he saw him, walking back dejected from some kind of pastry shop. He was just as pale as Shibata remembered and even more lithe than before. He had grown out of his baby fat (what little there was) and seemed far too frail to be walking around so carelessly. There were two other boys with him and suddenly Shibata wondered if his luck was finally picking up! 

 

But again...he didn’t know if Natsume really did see things...he had no confirmation that Shibata wasn’t just being crazy...so a test. That’s what Shibata needed to do, test it. If Natsume really did see  _ things, _ then he wouldn’t want others to know right? If he really did lie wouldn’t he just laugh off Shibata’s accusations? Yeah...most likely. 

 

So he took a step forward and threatened the other boy. He remembered calling out the other boys name just in assurance this was the right boy. The other boys stepped forward and for the first time ever Shibata thought maybe these were his friends. And when he threatened to tell them of the stories Natsume used to tell, the other boy had panicked...normal people don’t panic about dumb things they did as kids….okay maybe they did. But not like the way Natsume did…

 

Of course he didn’t tell him what was happening, he simply wondered if he even could. Saying it out loud would just make it sound as crazy as Shibata thought it was. Tugging Natsume along to that mystifying park and there she was. She was pale as well Shibata noticed...she almost gave off the same energy as Natsume. Natsume had laughed at Shibata’s worries, and Shibata felt foolish...to drag this boy all the way here only to find his fears unfounded. Ridiculous. 

 

When Natsume had started to walk back his face had gone pale and he had shouted out. For the first time ever Shibata learned Natsume had managed to make connections to others. He had been surprised to learn it was for an adoptive father’s birthday. And when they managed to find that Strawberry cake and Natsume had smiled Shibata faintly wondered if Natsume wasn’t human either. 

It wasn’t until Natsume was back on the train to his home that Shibata managed to spot his soft blue glow of his timer. 

 

He closed his eyes and went home. Murasaki did not have a timer...but Natsume did. Maybe...maybe it was somewhere else? Natsume hadn’t reacted in anyway that indicated Murasaki was anything but normal. 

 

That night Shibata read ‘A Temporary Home’ in full detail and felt the tears prickle his eyes. 

  
  


He dreamed of himself as a kid, and distinctly recalled Natsume with a harsh black mark on his neck, a hand print. 

 

The next day Natsume had started to change his tune, it made Shibata furious, how could Natsume keep changing his story on him! He had finally accepted Murasaki as someone he could put his heart too and now Natsume was saying she wasn’t safe? After he had laughed so carelessly!? 

 

He avoided him and watched as Natsume stopped at his school with the most hideous cat he could have ever imagined. It was a mistake to ever get involved with him. 

  
  


But by the end when Shibata had held those scribbles in his hand and been furious, and saw the way Natsume had cried and held his hands. Ever so gentle, pleading him to not hurt the page, to see Murasaki one last time. His resolved wavered.

 

When the sun slipped from view along with the warmth of Murasaki, Shibata had laid down and cried and there was Natsume. His eyes spoke volumes and Shibata knew...he knew Natsume had felt this pain before. He had curled up and covered his eyes and sobbed and his own timer blinded him for a moment; 10:45:32...10:45:31.

 

He made Natsume promise to never tell anyone of his tears. 

 

“I want you to write about her.” 

 

“What?” Natsume sounded so incredulous. 

 

“Make sure she didn’t disappear from everything. Write about her…make her be remembered.” Shibata whispered and he didn’t see Natsume’s response but he felt the nod. 

 

“I’ll make sure she isn’t forgotten Shibata...I promise.” Shibata nodded and let his arms fall away from his face. 

 

“Are you happy now Natsume?” Shibata looked up as the sky cooled down into dark navy. He didn’t dare look over at Natsume. 

 

There was a soft gasp and Natsume was silent for a long time...Shibata didn’t think he was going to answer. He had read the story from Natsume...someone couldn’t write that kind of story without being heartbroken. 

 

“Yes…” It was breathy and it was as if the word was heavy in the other boy’s lungs. Shibata turned his head to look at the blond...except he didn’t look blond anymore. The moon shined down on them and Natsume looked more ethereal than Murasaki had. Had his hair always looked so silver, his eyes so green?

 

His sleeves were rolled up and Shibata saw it, 00:00:00. 

 

_ Oh. _

 

Natsume had already met his soulmate. He turned his head to look back at the sky, there was so little stars out here in the city and he finally sat up. It was time to go home...Shibata was good at getting over things. He nodded and they split ways.

 

Shibata had laid down at his bed and wondered what Natsume’s soulmate was like. She must be gorgeous, if she had a soulmate like Natsume. Maybe she was the plain one...well anything could look plain compared to what Natsume was. 

 

Did she see the world Natsume could? Was she aware of it? 

 

He didn’t dream that night again. 

  
  


* * *

  
  


When Tanuma had visited the Fujiwaras that Saturday he wasn’t too surprised to see Natsume labouring over his lilac book again. Tanuma slowly walked in and sat peacefully next to the other boy, but was careful not to disturb his bubble of peace.  

 

He watched as Natsume scratched words into the pastel pages with such delicate care. He paused to watch the story unfurl at the blonde's fingertips. His fingers were so thin and were surprisingly long, Tanuma had been taught how to play the piano and the way Natsume's deft fingers moved? It was like watching the teachers dance above the keys. It was absolutely mesmerizing to watch, with his focused look and his hair slid behind his ear...his hair had gotten longer and Tanuma loved it.

 

He didn't look at the story, not once. He told Natsume he could wait for him to be open, and he was patient...well he tried to be, he respected Natsume's space, and never wanted to intrude. But in some weird way Tanuma felt jealous of those little pastel books...he wanted Natsume to turn towards him and look at him with such intent. 

 

Natsume had been away for the past few days...Nishimura and Kitamoto had complained about some boy bullying Natsume and Tanuma had instantly been worried. So when he had the first opening to sit by his timed's side, he took it. 

 

Natsume didn't look pained...nor troubled...he knew writing in the journal helped Natsume's nerves. But still...Tanuma was worried and if he could be quite honest with himself; infuriated. He wanted to find this boy and make sure he never came close to Natsume again. 

 

"Natsume?" He whispered softly when Natsume paused, causing the boy to jerk and flinch back in shock.

 

"Kaname!" The smile was impossibly brilliant when their eyes met. Tanuma felt heat flush up his face at hearing his name stumble out of Natsume's lips with such a bright look on his face. He looked as if he was filled with joy and Tanuma simply ducked his head down as Natsume turned fully to face the other boy. 

 

"When did you get here?" Tanuma swallowed, to get a hold of himself. 

 

"Just a few minutes ago...I didn't want to disturb your writing."  Natsume's eyes sparkled with mirth and,  _ oh...it was a good day. _ Tanuma loved good days! He loved when Natsume didn't have nightmares the night before, when he woke up easily and was welcomed with open arms and kisses. When Natsume wasn't haunted by past tragedies or spirits in the world. 

 

Those were good days, when Natsume was absolutely happy, and he smiled so bright, and he laughed so loud, as if nothing ever dragged him down in his life. It was wonderful.  _ Oh...how he loved Natsume. _

 

"I was writing about another spirit!" He explained, as if Tanuma didn't already know, his smile slipped into something more heartfelt and soft. "She was a wisteria tree and she...she fell in love~" he voice lifted up at the end in a drift. He looked so...enamoured. 

 

"Did it end happily?" Tanuna whispered, something inside told him he couldn't speak any louder than he had. As if he would burst this fragile bubble of...well, love around Natsume. 

 

"In some ways...yeah," he looked down at his page and smiled so sweetly and brushed a thumb over the ink as if caressing a loved ones' cheek. 

 

"Oh! Today's the day we were gonna pick our plant!" Natsume sputtered out, suddenly jumping up and stumbling out of his desk, causing a yowl from Ponto. 

 

_ A good day indeed _ . He looked so carefree as he stumbled about to pull on some socks...oh his famous blue socks. Tanuma couldn't help but quirk up one of his cheeks.  _ 'Our plant' _ ....what a lovely sound that had to it. 

 

Tanuma supposed whoever this boy was...he wasn't something he had to worry himself over. 

  
  
  


* * *

 

By the time Tanuma and Natsume found themselves at the nursery (per reference from Touko-san) neither boy knew what they wanted to pick. 

 

It was decided it had to be something that could fit in a pot, nothing too big. Tanuma and Natsume both knew they only had a few more years at this town...or at least for Tanuma. Tanuma had already decided on a couple schools for his future, all centered in the city. Natsume had expressed his desire to follow but...Tanuma never wanted to cause the other boy from leaving a place he belonged to. 

 

He watched as Natsume walked through the plants easily as if he was made to dance around nature...and maybe he was. 

 

His fingers were so delicate as he brushed them across petals, and lifted leaves in appraisal. He looked back at Tanuma with the joyous smile Tanuma had ever seen. 

 

"A bonsai maybe?" Tanuma suggested, his father had kept one a while back. Natsume hummed to himself as he ran his eyes over the small plants. He shook his head softly.

"No...I don't think that's right." He looked sheepish and  _ oh...it was good to see Natsume not be a pushover. _

"Okay!" Tanuma agreed. 

 

In all honestly...Tanuma knew nothing of plants, but they obviously held something deep in Natsume's heart. 

 

He didn't know why yet..but he was excited to learn it someday. 

 

Natsume walked easily through the isles to look at the other flowers with pure interest, once and awhile he cheekily would look up at Tanuma as if comparing the likeness of the two. 

 

"What are you doing?" Tanuma laughed.

 

"Nothing~" Natsume's smile said otherwise. He turned down another isle easily gliding around the branches and vines of the other plants. He made it look so easily, Tanuma got smacked by branches too many times to count already.

 

"It's a shame we can't get a water lilly...they're so pretty…" Natsume mumbled out loud, and they were…

They somewhat reminded Tanuma of Natsume...with how light their pink petals were, floating so easily on the water's surface. 

 

"But they're too big huh?" Tanuma asked. 

 

"Yeah...not good for moving." He smiled in response, turning down another path. 

 

_ Moving? _

 

Slowly they found themselves surrounded by pinks and reds and whites. 

"Oh chrysanthemums.." Tanuma breathed out. Natsume smiled and slowly lifted up a violet plant and held it up next to Tanuma's face. But slowly shook his head. He tilted his head in a way that made it look like he was listening to someone Tanuma couldn't see…

 

"No...no this won't do either." He shook his head as he delicately placed the plant back. 

 

Natsume sighed as they passed more flowers and plants, he looked heart broken as they passed more and more plants...once and a while glancing back towards the path of the water lilies. 

 

They passed by the Camellia flowers and Natsume cooed adorably at them. They meant true love and for a moment...Tanuma wanted to pick them. Natsume looked torn himself. 

 

"These are good aren't they?" Tanuma questioned.

 

"They're perfect...but I wanted to get a water based plant…" Natsume whispered...and the way he looked...his eyes weren't his usual gold...but it was not night time. His pupils looks almost slitted and his irises looked emerald. He tapped a finger against his lips and the way Tanuma's eyes throbbed for a moment was as if…

 

No...it couldn't be...why would staring at Natsume hurt like a youkai would?

  
  


"Just a water based plant feels right." And he smiled up at Tanuma and his eyes were back to their golden brown. 

 

Tanuma blinked and nodded...heading over to the water based plants, not noticing how he had grabbed onto Natsume's hand. 

 

There was quite a few plants to choose from but to Tanuma they all looked the same although Natsume seemed enthralled. It was almost strange to see him this way...as if he was like a cat, being fascinated by new toys. 

 

Natsume then settled on one plant in particular. 

 

"Can I help you with anything?" Came a soft voice. 

 

Tanuma almost jumped out of his skin and the sudden appearance of a worker behind him.

 

"Oh no...we're good...thank you" Tanuma bowed a touch in respect. But Natsume looked focused, just like he did when he stared at the pages of his stories.

 

"How much for the lotus?" He asked, not at all softly, and never once taking his eyes off the flowered plant. The young girl beside Tanuma smiled politely.

 

"Oh! The lotus! That's a lovely pick, it's meant to be-"

 

"Thank you..but how much for a small sample for it...I'd like to keep it in a small terrarium." Tanuma had never seen Natsume interrupt someone before.

 

"Oh of course! It's a popular option these days." Tanuma tuned them out as Natsume lovingly cradled the new plant's leaves. 

 

* * *

 

Natsume looked adorable as he walked out with a small glass vial like case with the lotus growing inside. It was so impossibly small but the way Natsume cradled it made it look as if it could be the world. 

 

"Natsume?" A soft hum was his response when golden eyes landed on him.

 

"Why did you interrupt the girl from the nursery?" Tanuma was genuinely curious about it...Natsume almost never interrupted humans...youkai were free reign. 

 

"Oh." Natsume looked down at the small buds of the lotus in his fingers. 

 

"I didn't want to know their meaning...I want them to have our meaning...not..not what others think of it as." 

 

_ Oh _ ...it was just so Natsume to say.

 

He smiled softly and quickly leaned over to press a chaste kiss to the other boy's cheek. Natsume bursted into red in response but Tanuma was already walking ahead with a smile on his lips. 

 

_ He loved Natsume. _

 

* * *

 

They were quick to have the Lotus moved to a bigger glass vase, one that looked like it could have possibly held cookies or sweets. The lid was small compared to the whole design, but it seemed to fit. They then moved it on a desk by Natsume's window much to Touko's worry. It was a precarious placement, but Natsume placed a small charm for protection (one Tanuma had written himself and had thrown away knowing his spiritual energy had not sunk in…) on the clear glass. 

 

Tanuma would have worried about that charm being useless if the letters didn't shimmer with some form of energy. Natsume. 

 

It was so impossibly small in the medium vase and Natsume smiled at it with awe as he rested his arms on the desk and laid his head down to stare up at the water. 

 

"Its like our pond." Natsume breathed out.

 

"Our pond?" Tanuma questioned kneeling down beside Natsume. 

 

"Yeah...the youkai pond by your room...our pond. I'll always remember it now." 

 

Something about those words made tears prickle at Tanuma's eyes and he nodded...it didn't matter that Natsume wasn't looking at him. 

 

_ Their pond _ .

 

_ Their lotus. _

 

"Maybe...we can bring some water from that pond over to here...that pond is very lively." Tanuma offered softly, trying hard to not let his eyes water to far. 

 

Natsume hummed and nodded in a distracted way as if he wasn't really paying attention. He lifted a thin finger up and grazed the glass and the sun rays through the water danced across his skin. It was hypnotic. 

 

"I'd like that." His voice was so soft, "so we can bring our home with us everywhere." 

 

Tanuma's breath caught in his chest. 

 

"Everywhere?" He choked out.

 

"Mmm-hmm." 

 

Tanuma didn't know what to say to that...he didn't know how to react. He sucked in his lips and took a moment to breathe out of his nose. 

 

"I met someone from my past recently." Natsume's voice resonated out, fingers still gliding along the glass.

 

"Yeah?"

 

"Yeah...he fell in love," Natsume started but shook his head gently. "Well that doesn't matter as much as she does." 

 

His fingers paused on the glass.

 

"When youkai leave this world...they leave me with a piece of themselves...memories, images of what they were, and what is left in their absence. I never want to forget them." His hand slipped lower.

 

"But those memories of theirs...it isn't like seeing a movie or reading a story...I feel it..everything they felt and for a small moment I forget who I am. I felt Murasaki...I knew her, we were the same person for a moment, and I felt her love and fear and sadness." 

 

Tanuma didn't know who Murasaki was but he feared for a moment if Murasaki had possessed his timed. 

 

"I felt her lose her loved one...she knew her time was up." His hand fell and Tanuma realized Natsume was running his fingers over his timer. Tanuma watched his own mimic the light and movement of Natsume's.

 

"She held no timer...and yet she felt the same love I knew." 

 

"And I will never want to give that up." Natsume whispered. Was...was Natsume dropping now? Tanuma knew Natsume's happiness only lasted so long. 

 

"Tanuma...I'm scared of leaving this home, this land...but even more than that I'm scared of leaving you."  

 

"Nats-" Tanuma shook his head, "Takashi...I'm not leaving you." He suddenly wished Natsume would turn around so he could see his face, read his reaction.

 

"I know...that's why I've decided no matter what, I'm going to follow you Kaname." 

 

Tanuma froze and he couldn't stop the tears this time. He didn't realize he had curled up in himself until  he felt Natsume's fragile arms wrap around him.

 

"Don't cry Kaname." Tanuma couldn't get out a reply.

 

"I know you've been keeping so much burden on yourself...but...I want to be your rock too okay! I want to be there every step the way...and I want you there in my path as well." Tanuma nodded and when he wiped his eyes and looked up he couldn't help but feel foolish for crying when Natsume was so composed. 

 

"I...okay" was all Tanuma could utter. Natsume grinned so easily it was as if his declaration wasn't something fantastical. Tanuma knew what this statement meant. He  _ knew _ how big this was for Natsume. 

  
  


"Okay...which is why I wanted to share something with you...if-if you'd like?" Natsume stuttered.

 

Tanuma sniffed and lifted his head curiously.

 

"Well...here." Natsume turned and placed the filled up lilac book in Tanuma's hands. Tanuma froze in his spot as if time had stopped around him...how did one breathe again? 

 

"I-what?" 

 

"I...I want you to read it...I-well I guess Kawamoto-sensei has a copy of them all but..I want you to read the originals." He folded Tanuma's hands over them.

 

"I've been so nervous about it, since they aren't just my memories or the youkai's but…" Tanuma recalled Natsume's words earlier, and maybe he understood.

 

"I...I understand Natsume...this...this is.." he didn't have the vocabulary to explain, but Natsume seemed to understand. 

 

This book didn't just hold words of Natsume but his soul and inner being. Neither boy knew about the tight sharp green eyes of Madara watching the exchange. 

 

"I'll cherish them but..what made you change your mind?" Tanuma whispered

 

"Funny enough...that boy from my past, his name is Shibata." He looked down at their conjoined hands over the lilac book. 

 

"He wanted Murasaki to be remembered and I realized youkai live on through words...through ink, and having her restrained to only mine and Kawamoto-sensei's eyes...that's like keeping her in a cage." Tanuma slowly nodded and ever so slowly let Natsume's hands fall away and cradle to journal to his chest. 

 

Tanuma nodded and some weird way he wanted to thank this Shibata. 

 

They sat in silence and Tanuma curled up against Natsume and for once he used the other boy as something to lean on. 

 

They both watched the lotus in the glass vase and Tanuma smiled closing his eyes. 

 

* * *

 

It wasn't until Tanuma was in the dirt path heading home that he noticed he was being followed. He snapped around with Natsume's journal still clutched to his chest. 

 

There amongst the dark was a large white and orange lucky cat; Ponto. And yet this fact didn't make Tanuma breathe easier...something about how Ponto stood, and how his eyes glowed unnaturally green made the hair on Tanuma's arms stand up. 

 

"Ponto, wh-" 

 

"It's Madara right now...understand." his voice seemed grifter than usual...this was serious, "put in your glasses on." It was a command and Tanuma was quick to fumble the blue tinted glasses onto his face. 

 

When he turned back there was smoke clearing around him and in front of him was no cat. 

 

The beast was larg- no- huge! It's sharp eyes were green and fur pristine, there was some symbol of red painted on the beast's forehead. 

 

"M-madara?" Tanuma stuttered.

 

"Good. You're learning." 

 

"W-what? What's wrong?" Tanuma took a cautious step backwards. Those green eyes narrowed and for some reason they reminded Tanuma of Natsume in the moonlight.

 

"You make sure that book is safe...you mortals do not understand the significance of written words" he started to pace around Tanuma. His paws were silent in the night air, and his long tail was long enough to block out a full circle around Tanuma. 

 

"Of course I'll keep it safe!" Tanuma shouted out, feeling frustrated, of course he would cherish Natsume's work.

 

"You do not understand!" Came a growl. Tanuma snapped his mouth shut. 

 

"That is ink written by Natsume about himself...that book holds a lot of power and energy over Natsume. That's his  _ Soul! _ Poured in those pages." He continued to pace and Tanuma turned to keep those sharp teeth in his view. 

 

"Neither you nor that idiotic Natsume line realize how powerful things like these are." 

 

"What do you mean?" There was no response. 

 

Instead Madara huffed out a laugh, a silent ' _ and yet he goes and makes another book' _ was heard. Tanuma didn't understand what was happening. 

 

But suddenly those green eyes were on him again and Tanuma couldn't look away. 

 

"You've become the chosen guardian for that book, so don't you  _ dare _ mess it up." And then with a blink and a harsh gust of wind he was gone, like a dream. 

 

Tanuma stumbled all the way home in shock.

 

It wouldn't be until he sat down in his bed that it all hit finally hit him. With slow movements and careful fingers he deftly pushed the almost worn journal open. There in the first page read, Natsume, Takashi. 

 

And there was the title of the first story, 'the Cat and the Book of Friends.' 

  
  


And maybe Tanuma would finally understand what Madara had meant.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's it! Again I'm so sorry for how long this took! 
> 
> Let me know what you think! I kind of leaned more towards the theory Natsume has some form of youkai blood in him, and I wanted to expand on that idea. 
> 
> Again! This story only updates by demand, if you want to see more comment and let me know, hell you can even comment what you want to read and I can try and incorporate it!


	7. Changes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Omg I'm so sorry how long this took me, honestly I almost quit writing all together, even cutting off a multi chapter story i was working on. 
> 
> I just lost interest in a lot of things and lost a lot of motivation to do anything. I tried to push through that and keep writing so the beginning of this chapter might not be the best, but by the end seeing the new comments on how much people enjoyed this story sparked more strength in me. 
> 
> So all I want to say is thank you.

It wasn’t odd for Natori to over hear Director’s talk about new ideas, hell, it wasn't uncommon to hear about editors discussing probable new projects. He liked hearing about the upcoming ideas, usually young novelists or artists finally getting a chance to stake their claim in the world. 

 

It was nice...seeing such innocence in the industry. 

 

But when he was having his daily tea break, he didn’t expect to hear such an accurate description of a youkai. Sure...once and a while someone wrote something they had seen, and what they had seen was indeed... _ otherworldly _ . But usually it was a one off situation. 

 

This seemed ...different. 

 

Hearing the editors close to his agent gossip about a new author it was becoming clear that something was about to start. 

 

Apparently it was some school kid, a simple short story in a magazine, but it had won over hearts easily. From what Natori could gather; it had been a morbidly lovely story about pain and belonging. He didn’t know what to think. He closed his eyes and tilted his head to the left just a touch to try and catch the rest of the story behind such a mystery. 

 

The tale was just a touch too close to comfort. Whoever had written such a story...they knew of youkai,  _ real _ youkai, not the type that lived in fairy tales or mythos. The real Youkai that stalked at night and whispered in the breeze, unseen, unheard, and unknown. 

 

One simple story wouldn’t peak Natori’s interest, honestly he had heard enough over the years, but then the Editor had whispered;  _ There’s over a full collection of them, I talked to their teacher. _

 

Now that! Was troubling. That changed everything, a simple account was nothing, but a  collection? That could be problematic. What child was messing around with such dangers? It made Natori sick and worried, he could already picture Natsume in his mind, frail and pale, and scared. Broken by Youkai and Human, what a shattered life to live...was there another person out there like that fragile boy? Another lost being with a cursed sight? 

 

Natori would have to look into it. Or at least...Hiiragi would. 

 

It was easy to send her on her way, watching her follow the Editors with purpose, he hoped she would be able to find this writer help soon. 

 

Now waiting wasn’t Natori’s strong suit, he wasn’t a terribly patient human and with the weight of knowing there was another child out there witnessing horrors no one else could imagine- well...was it really that surprising, he decided to pick up said magazine with the story.

 

And a  _ story  _ it was. 

It had been a quick read, and he had been happy to open it up as he sat in his empty apartment. A story about an empty family cursed to not know love and a home so desperate to find a person to give said love; an interesting tale in itself. Natori was enthralled by the story feeling something prickle in the back of his mind. 

 

It was odd...the story hurt, hurt in a way only someone who knew the depths could write. Someone who understood, a feeling Natori hadn’t found in many places. It was absolutely tragic.

 

He ignored the tears bubbling into his eyes, it was best not to dwell.

 

He sighed as he finished up the last few words, a happy ending, well...for the grandson. But it was a good story, undeveloped but still good. Natori could tell it was an amueter author, but it reeked of emotion, which was rare in modern stories, hell it was so rare Natori would find himself falling asleep when reading manuscripts. 

 

It was a good talent to have, he could easily see this young teen moving on to write incredible stories- especially if the gossip was true. 

  
  


His eyes ran over the words until it landed on the name of said teen; Natsume, Takashi…

 

_ Oh. _

 

That made a lot more sense, Natori didn't like to think of the meaning behind the words, but it was to clear to be ignored. 

 

He sighed softly running his fingers over Natsume's name...he had been like a little brother to Natori. Something precious and meant to be loved. 

 

Natori had made sure to do background checks on the Fujiwaras just to be certain. 

 

He had been happy by their lack of footprint. 

 

The thing was Natori wasn't dumb, as much as Natsume hid, he wasnt nearly talented enough to hide everything from Natori. Natori had heard the whispers of a cursed item. Had seen the reverence Natsume held amongst the spirits. He knew Natsume was more than a simple human, especially with his eyes sight. Natori had turned a blind eye to Natsume's cat like pupils, and even the contract free demon. 

 

But despite every little thing that Natori chose to push aside, he still loved that kid something fierce. Natori had given up on connections, on family. He loved being an actor for that reason; playing out fantasies of attachments, knowing he can never be hurt by such frivolous scenarios, but still elaborate enough for him to bask in such adoration. 

 

He enjoyed being an actor, he loved having people stare at him with desire rather than disgust. His timer had stopped years ago, giving him hope for a second, but even that bond had been false. 

 

When he gazed upon Natsume's wrist for the first time seeing the seconds reading 00:00:00, he understood he would care for this child forever. He looked so broken and yet his heart beat stronger than anything Natori had felt, a resolve stronger than diamond. 

 

Natori had wanted to protect him as well as single handedly follow him unto the ends of the earth. It was a complicated feeling. 

 

But he cared for Natsume, Natsume had made him become reopen. Prying open his walls delicately and easily as if Natori's defenses were mere paper. 

 

Natori hadn't even realized he had become linked to the other boy until his makeup artist had commented on it. 

 

"What?" Natori had asked. 

 

"Oh don't mind me Natori-San, I just mean he sounds adorable- you're little brother, he must be lucky to have you!" She had smiled so bright as she had dusted more blush on his cheeks. Natori had been frozen, probably the stillest he had ever been for hair and makeup. 

 

"Yes...I...brother.." Natori had whispered back without thinking, probably in shock but his familiars had been eyeing him.  _ Brother _ . 

 

Natori had always wanted a brother, a sibling honestly, someone to belong with, he wondered at first, briefly if Natsume was an answer to his prayers.

He had scolded himself for such a thought later, he would never wish such a pain on another. 

 

But this changed things. If they were looking to publish these stories and bring in this auth-well Natsume into the industry, Natori would not leave him to that future alone. 

 

Natori knew the industry and it was tough, he had been lucky enough to be so jaded when he had stepped into it. But Natsume...he was so sweet, so gentle; Natori would make sure he was safe. 

 

Natori got up folding the magazine back up and placing it on his counter as he walked towards his phone, pushing down the numbers to his agent. 

 

"Hi…it's me, yeah...could you get me in contact with the person in charge of that new author? The young one? Yes! Thank you." 

 

* * *

 

There were moments in Natsume’s life that altered his path. Now not all these moments were created equal, meeting Touko had been pivotal moment, but not something that had out right screamed so- meeting Tanuma did. 

 

Sometimes these moments crept up on Natsume, things he didn’t even know would change his life, such as stumbling across Natori, speaking to Taki, or running to a shrine from a demon.

  
  


The days never reflected such an adjustment, always normal, or even stormy. 

 

Monday had been just like any other day, it really really had; there had been no giveaway to the events that would unfold. 

 

Natsume had walked to class with a small umbrella against the mist sprinkling down from above, and Tanuma was by his side huddled close. They had been chatting softly, but more than anything walking in silence, allowing the comfort of the hush around them to settle in their bones. 

 

Well that was until another boy came barreling through their bubble, one simple Nishimura, loud and vibrant and shaking like a dog from the rain. They both had laughed at the other boy’s expense and continued on their walk. It was normal. 

  
  
  


In fact the day was so absolutely normal it was practically boring. No youkai appeared and Natsume dozed lazily through the rainy haze, and when lunch came the boys bundled around Natsume’s desk and ate their lunches with laughter. They finished the day easily and then there was Natori. The students were crowding, and it definitely looked like a girl had swooned from shock. Really, it was such a strong juxtaposition to the normalcy of the day Natsume wasn’t entirely sure he wasn’t hallucinating. 

 

But no...there he was waiting at the gate with his bright smile and pristine hair, he wasn’t dressed for his...side job, in fact he was basking in the attention, glasses tucked neatly at his collar. Natsume could see the little black lizard crawl across his face and behind his left ear, curling comfortably. When they made eye contact Natori’s eyes brightened and his smile widened. He thrusted his arms out wide and walked forwards, Natsume watched embarrassed as the students parted to allow him access. 

 

“Natsume!”

 

Natsume knew his cheeks were bursting red as the other students turned their attention towards him. Even Nishimura was looking bewildered as Natori swooped his arms around Natsume’s shoulders, easily maneuvering him towards the exit and consequently a car. Natsume’s eyes looked perplexed as he was dragged off, his hand snatching Tanuma’s hem and tugging with him. 

 

It was all a whirlwind, one moment they were being greeted by a strange sight, and the next they were sitting in a warm car with Natori finally taking a deep breath of relaxation. 

 

* * *

  
  


If you had asked Natsume how he had gotten to this situation he couldn’t say for certain he knew the answer. One moment he was being carted away by Natori with some bland answer to what was happening to him to suddenly being thrown into clothing after clothing as Natori mumbled about awful fashion. 

 

Which did make Natsume flush in embarrassment, he had liked his oddly patterned shirts; they were gifts from Shigeru. And while they weren't...really Natsume's favorite style he couldn't help but like the meaning behind said items. They were new, not handy downs, and something his foster parents thought he would like, not something given in passing, but thought on. It was worth everything for those gifts. 

 

But apparently they weren't good for whatever Natori had in mind as he pulled clothing after clothing from the racks. Each time placing it over Natusme's body and putting like a disappointed mother...or what Natsume assumed one would sound like. 

 

Tanuma was sat by the changing rooms looking just as confused as Natsume felt. Natori threw a new purple shirt over Natsume's body and hummed in thought. 

 

"What style do you like Natsume? Preppy?" He asked offhandedly as he pulled the shirt away with an offended glare...again, natsume couldn't help but wonder how exactly he had gotten to this point.

 

And for the record he didn't...he didn't really know how to respond. After all, he didn't know fashion trends...not really. He had seen some over the course of his life, especially when he lived in the cities, but that didn't mean he fully comprehended them. 

 

"I…I don't-"

 

"He likes punk." Both blondes snapped over to looked at the ebony haired boy sitting patiently. 

 

"What?" Natsume choked out.

 

"Well you said you thought delinquents looked cool…" Tanuma started as his cheeks began to color. 

 

And wasn't that just terrible, natsume could feel his own face flush embarrassingly in response. 

 

"Oh! Really?!" Natori cooed out with interest...yeah that was it, this was worse, so much worse than anything else Nataume had done. 

 

"I-I mean it's just…" 

 

"You did say you thought they looked cool!" 

 

Natsume snapped his head over to Tanuma with a scowl and hard blush. 

 

"I said it looked cool on you." Natsume hissed at the other boy making him burst in red. 

 

"Well punk...street fashion I can work with…" Natori's smile was more sinister than Matoba's in that moment (okay maybe not as bad, but it still made Natsume's heart flutter in nerves) 

 

Natori snapped around smiling dazzling at a worker, so much so Natsume could practically see sparkles surround the other man. 

 

Whatever he had said must have been effective since the worker was now smiling brightly at Natsume, heading away and returning with a pile of new clothes. This was probably one of the most embarrassing things he'd ever done seeing as the woman was quick to push him in changing rooms to put on the numerous items she had collected. 

 

The worst was probably how eager Tanuma looked to watch Natsume be tugged around into new outfits, barely giving any input. 

 

"Hmm...it could work but maybe we should try something more darker, he's got such wonderful fair hair." The worker smiled and Natori pushed his glasses down with a smile nodding along. 

 

"Perhaps more leather?" The woman nodded as she turned.  _ Leather!? _

 

"Natori really! I don't really need all this! What is going on!?" 

 

Tanuma nodded with that statement. Natori sighed as if he had been put into a huge inconvenience.

 

"A talent agent is looking to pick you up to publish your stories," Natori went back at assessing the garments in the piles placing more clothing together to make a new outfit. "And seeing as I have experience in this business I'm going to be your representative to make sure everything goes smoothly." He nodded to himself. 

"Although...I can't exactly present you to an agency in your school uniform let alone in your gods awful fashion sense." He shook his head and mumbled  _ honestly such a waste. _

 

**_Publish…?_ **

 

Natsume turned to Tanuma with wide eyes and mouth parted... **_published!?_ ** _ That couldn't be right.  _

 

"You're...you're serious!? Someone wants to publish Natsume's stories?" Tanuma jumped up in surprise. Natori turned around lazily with a small smirk and nod. 

 

"Of course, it seems he has quite a big following already. There's been demands." He told Tanuma with a bright smile and Tanuma fell backwards back into his stool and meeting Natsume's eyes, mirroring his reaction. 

 

"Tha-thats  amazing! " Tanuma laughed, throwing his arms out wide, "Natsume! That's so cool! I mean..your writing is so good!" He was giddy by the news but Natsume couldn't say the same. 

 

Those stories weren't his though...they were all those youkai's. Yes, he didn't want them to disappear with his memory but...this was more than a simple magazine and a couple friends...this was...this was- **_publish!?_ **

 

Natsume startled as something grabbed his hand, bringing his eyes back into focus he met those calming navy he had fallen for. 

 

"Of course that's if you want to, you can always decline Takashi." Oh…he was calling Natsume by his name. 

"I-its just I don't...I don't think I'm prepared for this" were his hands shaking? 

 

Tanuma squeezed his hand in comfort and Natori watched with sharp eyes. 

"Its only going to be a meeting Natsume that's all...any real agreements will need to be made with your guardians there, I just wanted to be there first to make sure they weren't going to mistreat you." He explained with his eyes closed as he folded up a short effortlessly.

 

"But the presentation? You said? Fashion?" Natsume stuttered out with confusion. 

 

"Well yes I did want you to look good for a talent agent, but also your fashion is atrocious Natsume, absolutely awful, so as I see it...two birds, one stone." 

 

"It's not that bad." Natsume mumbled and Tanuma winced next to him. 

 

"Honestly, Natsume, you could look absolutely stunning if I had my way." Natsume did a double take at that...what did that mean? Did Natori mean that Natsume looked bad? Or why did it matter if Natsume looked stunning or not; he was just some highschool student with a very important/lethal book at his hip. It didn't add up to him. 

 

"But-" Natori shook his head to get Natsume to stop talking. 

 

"Look Natsume, you're face is something of beauty, and as someone who works in an industry of beauty, it's easy to say how envious you could make others, I just want to make you see that too." He stated so easily as if it was simple as his little lizard curled around his eye. 

 

Before Natsume could reply the woman returned with more clothing. 

 

"Perfect!" Natori clapped his hands with joy. 

 

* * *

 

As much as Natsume wanted to deny it, he liked the outfit Natori had placed him in. 

 

His shoes were a little clunky and his jeans had some precariously placed rips on them, but overall they were right about everything. He looked nice in them, that thought alone had allowed Natori to rush him to a makeup artist he knew. 

 

She had been a bubbly girl with wild blue hair and a sweet smile, at first her strange appearance had made Natsume think she wasn't human, but Tanuma had kept him clear. 

 

She had been adamant to outline his eyes in black even painting his fair lashes, he hadn't even known his lashes were so long or even considered long. She had used this harsh red like powder to frame his outer eyes and smiled at work. She had pinned his hair in a way that seemed like it was more for the look than for his hair to be out of his way, and she even had used some clip on earrings to complete the look.

 

Natsume had felt stupid as he sat down for her, but after having her place a mirror in front of him with a huge smile it had suddenly made it better. Especially under the compliments, it had made Natsume's stomach flutter, even more so when Tanuma could barely look at Natsume without getting flustered. 

 

She had sent them on their way with a little bag of supplies for Natsume to use in his daily life and a deep bow of good luck. 

 

Which only left the actual meeting, since Natori had placed his hand on his chin and assessed Natsume presentable. 

  
  


Which left Natsume sitting next to Tanuma (who got to stay in his school uniform) with their fingers tangled as Natsume was fighting the urge to run away. Natori stood by the door as the agent walked in. 

 

She brushed her skirt for nonexistent dirt and sat down with a nervous elegance. Her hair was tied up in a messy bun and despite her smile she looked tired. Her eyes were a coffee brown and her hair a lovely black that reminded Natsume of Tanuma. 

 

* * *

 

Touko's gasp as Natsume walked through the threshold was more than astounding. She did more than a small double take at his new attire. 

 

"Oh!" She covered her mouth and Natsume couldn't help the extreme embarrassment that was kicking in. While yes, he had quite loved his look, seeing Touko's reaction sure didn't make him incredibly proud of it. 

 

He stuttered softly trying to justify his outfit when she started laughing, she looked absolutely gleeful in the dim lighting. 

 

"Oh! Takashi! You look very good!" She laughed, gently spinning him around to get a better look. Natsume ducked his head in response, he couldn't face her. Little did he know how ecstatic Touko was to see him in a new style. For the first time ever he was expressing himself in a way that wasn't gifted to him. It was his own creation, and that made Touko proud, she was always so worried that Shigeru and her were limiting Takashi's expression to what he thought they'd think was acceptable. 

 

It was heartbreaking to see a child so worried to express himself. Especially one that was getting older and had yet to really discover himself. 

 

Touko had been terrified that Takashi would forever be stunted by his past, adrift in his belief he was a ghost in life. It wasn't fair to the boy, and yet here he was, standing before her in something she would never peg to be his taste. 

 

It was wonderful! 

 

And despite it all, he looked good in the dark clothing, his hair was combed in a style she hadn't witnessed before and she simply loved it. 

 

"Takashi! Come! I've got dinner waiting!" She bustled around him, helping him remove his new leather jacket and pushing him towards the kitchen.

 

"So nice of Natori to call us ahead of time to let us know you were going to be late." Touko smiled, as she brushed some flint off Natsume's shoulders, herding him to his seat. Shigeru choked on his drink at Natsume's appearance but at a pointed look from Touko he smiled back. 

 

"Natsume I heard from Natori about the meeting today. We figured we would set an appointment with her; if you wanted to, of course!" Shigeru offered making sure to look at Natsume with open eyes and upheld palms, that's always seemed to keep Takashi calm. 

 

Natsume sat patiently in his position, for the first time since the blur of everything around him, he finally could think it all over. 

 

In all honesty Mrs. Suzuki was a pleasant woman, she was mostly an editor if anything, and the title of 'talent agent' had been a little too generous (her words not his). She had easily explained how she was going to be Natsume's main representative in the publishing firm...she said a lot of words that had made Natsume feel dizzy in response. Some words he couldn't recognize but Tanuma had been very dependable in his presence and Natoei was quick to clarify things when the edge of confusion started to wash over the blond. 

 

She had explained how things would run and Natsume had sort of tuned out all of it, Natori's nods had helped him to understand whether they were good or bad. She had talked about dialect for a moment, and how changing some vocabulary would be pertinent, but how overall Natsume's story was already grossing a lot of readers. It was...well...it was  _ overwhelming _ . 

To say the least. 

 

Natsume had just never wanted to forget but they thought he had imagined this world, these spirits, these creatures...these youkai. But that wasn't true, these weren't lies inside Natsume's mind, they weren't hallucinations being threaded by his own thoughts...he had made sure of that. He wasn't crazy and these worlds were  _ real _ .

 

So when Mrs. Suzuki had smiled at him with a card and a bow, Natsume could only whisper, a small, "I'll think about it, thank you."

 

She had looked downtrodden at first but her facial expression hadn't persisted. With a small flourish she was back to her exuberant self, smiling about how 'it was a pleasure' and 'I look forward to your call!'. 

 

Now...the question was did Natsume want the world to know of his experiences? He had shared the one story already but it had been changed quite a bit...and honestly it was more Natsume's story if anything. 

 

But the others...those weren't his stories, it was mostly him viewing them, him being a witness to another main character's life. Did he have the right to give that up to others...people who wouldn't even understand the secret world around them. 

 

"Takashi?" 

 

Natsume looked up at the question to meet Touko's  eyes, her soft brown, just like Mrs. Suzuki…

 

He slid his eyes over to his foster father. 

 

Shigeru had stories...Natsume had seen more than one spirit witness the boy grow. Was it okay to share that? 

 

What of the spirits who were gone though…? 

 

**_“Make sure she didn’t disappear from everything. Write about her…make her be remembered.”_ **

 

Shibata's voice echoed through his ears, ringing strong and true…

 

**_“I’ll make sure she isn’t forgotten Shibata...I promise.”_ **

 

Natsume had promised...right. there were spirits who were long gone now that deserved to be remembered, to be cherished for their lives...just...just like his parents needed to be. 

 

How long had Natsume hated not knowing a single thing about his family, to know their only footprint on this world was in memories, memories that were never recorded, only lost in the wind of a last breath. 

 

That wasn't fair. 

 

He wasn't going to have another being be erased so cruelly, even if they weren't human. 

 

"I'd like if we made that appointment Shigeru." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again thank you so much, this story only updates by demand so if you want more comment and tell me so. 
> 
> And again the only reason this chapter exists is for those people who were so supportive and were patient. 
> 
> Thank you again, and thank you for reading

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know what you think! There will be more if anyone wants!  
> This story updates by demand only!


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